ich habe grossen hunger...

im fuggen hungry...been starvin myself all fuggen week...why...cuz i gained about 5 lbs last weekend eating everything in sight...big lunch...big dinner...snack...rinse and repeat

had a group of buds in a "biggest loser" comp last winter...lasted mid november 09 to march 2010...i clocked in at 252 about 3 weeks before we started the competition...i self started a regimine to get that fatass weight off...i mean fat ass....saundoggy has the biggest ass known to white men...my ass is legendary...i got booty....big booooooty.....then one of me mates...."becks"...suggested we have a competition...great idea..so we put money in the pot..paypal rocks...i think 50 bucks... and 8 of us were in....winner take all...so i weighed in at 245...id lost 7 lbs already but wtf...ill just consider that "ante" weight loss..

tough sleddin as our comp was held over thanks "eat everything in site of you and more and more and more" giving....christ "eat drink and be merry while consuming tons of sweets and sugar everything shit" mas...new "happy fuggen get rid of the memories of worst economic year ever known to man while drinking lots of makers mark and eating full plates of chip and dip while sitting on your ass for 4 days watching college football bowl games" eve....

i did well...but not well enough to win....i weighed in at 223....down from 245....really should have been 252...that wouldve been a winner....wahhhhh....ima baby beotch whiner sob...

ive done well since then..keeping myself in check....portion control....exercising... but last weekend i failed..i hit the pantry hard....ive learned that one weekend is all it takes to gain about 5...an ez 5 too....too ez....ok..more like 7lbs...fuggen cfb!!!

so what does this fuggen stooopid pos do? i starve myself... that works right...only if youre on a hunger strike and your intent is to die!...

why the fugg do that???....i know that i will be hungry....so hungry that ill invade the pantry and stuff myself with all the shit that is present there......then ill say to myself.."its ok....im playing squash tomorrow and ill burn it off..."

wow....im manorexic...im the male oprah...ima mess...

betcha this will have a great ending...stay tuned...my buddy clark saw me tonight and asked if i was sick....cuz my face is all skinny....btw....why does your face lose all the weight at first? i find that a very odd phenomenon..

had a discussion today...

with some fellas about my last blog entry....there was a mixed reaction to my snuggie blog...most thought it was brilliant...some thought it was weird (which is ok) ...and some thought im losing my mind (perhaps)...and one just hated it...(bart..but if it was cowboys snuggie...different story)....

so i wanted to clear it up with two of my confidants....these guys know their (each others) shit...literally..



i stand by my snuggie blog entry....tristan and jeremy gave me the thumbs up!

all snuggly

thanks to me new raider snuggie! its getting to snuggie season soon, actually it was 38 last night and my snuggie was snuggly...

id mentioned getting a snugglie for wifey several years ago....wifeys first reaction was...."dont waste your money, ill never wear it!" well...presently, we all have snuggies out de azz....multiple snuggies...our dogs have multiple snuggies!

mine is special..its an oakland raider snuggie....i love the raiders! they really suck and have a crazy ass owner in KIM JUNG AL (davis)...but i root for them nonetheless...my raiders snuggie is special too, as it folds up neatly into a pillow....a fuggen raider pillow....so i can lay my poor head on it, after another raider loss....and weep weep weep into the raider shield....my snuggie is also extra plush...the old ones were like burlap sacks....this one is so darn snuggly....did i mention its an oakland raider snuggie...and a pillow...and cool..

thanks jb!

wifey back tonight

from a vegas trip that began last thursday....she'll be tired no doubt...so ill catch up with her probably on thursday....vegas is the most tiring of all cities...

house is very clean....kids were great...and its about to get loud and messy very shortly...momzilla will make sure the kids dont get too unruly...

same happens when i leave town too....except for the clean part...i get home and the house is in full clutter mode...

kids dont use their drama tool while one of is gone too...they cant use us against each other, so things run smoothly...like a dictatorship...

so now we will become what every family is...loud, messy, and full o drama...this will last until i go to dallas october 20th....

recon 3 vs play ya

this am..early..went to starbux down the road...in the bubble...lot full of nice cars..very nice cars...one car in particular caught my eye....this car catches every male eye known to man...the porsche 911 turbo..it doesnt even need to be a turbo...the 911 body style is the coolest of all cool!

something funny catches me eye....this beauties plate read "recon 3..." instantaneously i chuckled....the kind of chuckle that we all do from time to time....the "fuggen a what a complete dousche bag" chuckle....who would be "recon3?" i needed to know...and once i knew, id search long and hard for "recon1" and "recon2..."

the line was long this am....i never got to see who "recon3" was....fuggen drag...because "recon3" couldve answered all of my questions:

1. why are you "recon3?"

2. why do you post "recon3" on your plate?

3. did you sit in your poopy when you were a toddler?

so , after my redeye..thats a drink, not a sexual act.....i headed up north to the hoody..where me carwashes are located.... and...i see a plate...on a wheel spinnin escalade (shocker) that read..."play ya...."

a tale of two cities...altho it seems as tho the two cities i visited today are full of very expensive vehicles...one more refined than the other...but i bet "play ya's" vehicle costs more (aftermarket) than "recon3's" 911 turbo!

i can only imagine the colossal destruction that would result from a meeting between "recon3"

and "play ya."

im so fortunate to know that "recon3" is living amongst us in me bubble....i can sleep well knowing that he has our backs!

text break up

wtf people....?

my daughters boyfriend broke up with her last night...via text message...what a pussy...! im pissed! MANUP u weak prick!

im upset about this for several reasons....i love my daughter to a fault....and i hate seeing her upset...she dug this cat...we did too....shes young though and will be better for it...

my main concern...which is more deep...is the uneasiness i feel about the way society is going....the technology...the easiness of the BREAKUP... it shouldnt be this easy...

breaking up requires a very delicate combination of finite human emotions and behaviors...when one breaks up, one is required to handle themselves with dignity and respect...or bad things happen to the one kicked to the curb....especially when it comes to 15 year old females...parents need to teach these things to their kids...this is a fragile time and fuggen a....if one of my boys does this to a girl, im kickin their asses....and i mean it!

love is the strongest emotion that humans have in themselves....i know i know...these kids are too young to LOVE....but tell that to your 15 year old....it doesnt fly....their emotions tell themselves that they are in love....even tho they have been "going out" for only 2 months....you cant fight it...you allow them to think this while knowing its just puppy love shit...

going back to the text part....im pissed beyond belief! you dont text a break up...!!!!!!!!!!!!! end of story....over and out! plain and simple!!!! you man up and face that person and you discuss...you give them respect and you move on....thats what john wayne would do...clint eastwood...the fonz...built...all the greats! now george costanza would go the text route...cuz he is a pussy..

but what do we do...technology has allowed kids to send a snatch shot to their posse...sexting...skype...facebook fails...etc...

end it you fuggen dorks...go back to talking things out...you pussies...face the situation ..manup and move on! old skewl werks!

wifey in vegas....

so wifey has been in vegas for one day and night so far...she comes back monday....4 1/2 days..

what does that mean? PPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTY! right? NOPE NADA NICHTS NYET....well lets discuss...

well...hmmm...things are clean(er) around the house...wifey is... kind of a... slob....not a big mess tho...(nice bailout) ...our home is in order...

kids are behaving...im totally convinced that these little sithlike bastard fuggers are smart as hell....they know that they need me and me only...with wifey absent...they need me and me only...me..me...so be nice to the one parent left home and youll get your ride to the movies and six flags....youll be able to have your platoon (6 friends) over for the major air soft battle offensive planned for tomorrow...

with all this driving im doing, i cannot partake in drinking makers....which kinda sucks cuz i really could use multiple MOTR'es (makers on the rocks'es'es'es)...its easier to deal when youre plowed... but, i must remain a responsible adult.....bwawawawawaaaaaaaaaaaaa! im most definitely getting wasted during the airsoft battle tho....ill be out on the pats shouting flanking instructions to all who will listen...

wifey is havin a blast in vegas....things are smooth as silk here at base camp...drama is all but gone...greatness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!