pontiac firebird

parked in my driveway...loaded with 4 boys...16 year olders...were over for a spell yesterday....like dogs in heat....they circle my daughter....in our day, the phone would ring...right? i guess our parents knew who was calling and when.... now its skype, text, facebook, and cell phone....its impossible to track these dogs...

i knew this time would come soon...syds got it going...shes smart, attractive, blond...cant figure out if she acts dumb because shes blond or is just kinda dumb....she makes solid grades with little effort...like everything, she does just enough to get by...its kind of aggravating because that fuggen kid is blessed with talent and brains...she can play every sport well....but not one sport really well....she goes out for golf, because its easy, and makes the varsity with zero prep....i mean zero...shes a natural. if she would focus on golf for one summer, she would be scholarship city!

now the dogs are circling and..." DAD!!! they are just friends!!! I hate you...dont talk to me!"

so i watch and laugh...

i saw that car and laughed my ass off....right away i sang..."MOTORIN!!!! whats your price for flight...in finding mr right.....ill be alrite tonite..."

then i got kinda mad because that song reminds me of boogie nights (great awesome flick)...and then i thought of the characters in that movie....then i told the boys to get the fugg out! these boys are scared of me....i want to keep it that way...

my tard daughter

kid has it all....smarts...looks...common sense...athletic ability from the heavens...

always after her to practice....work on her game, hone her skills...whatever that game is...soccer, golf, squash, you name it....she could be a great one! it would be a bonus on her resume for college admission....if she wouldve practiced her golf for maybe 5 hours max..not a day...just 5 hours......shed be good enough to get a scholarship...... she has that much potential...but no...she HATES golf...! hell...she hates her coaches (every fuggen one of em), teachers, me, wifey....her brothers...etc etc etc!!!

her take on this encouragement....and i quote.."ill never be good because you said i wont be, so im not going to practice."

would someone please come take her away please....and return after paying for her remaining hs and college tuition...PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!! im begging you!... actually...dont return her until you pay for her fuggen wedding!

mizzou here she comes! fine by me!

anyone else counting the days....?

im guilty...as charged! i know...just about..the amount of days left for syds stay here at my house...

lets see...its september 13th...shes a sophomore....so lets say shes off to college mid august right...2013....1065 days left!

i go to sbux every am and run into many i know...many i havent seen in awhile....many ive met over the years....its clockwork...one lady always asked about me kids...i used to bring them in from time to time...now they dont deserve it so they stay home and i dont bring them shit! this lady asked me this am about syd....how old is she now?...i answered 15 ..16 in november...and went on to tell her that she has a little over 1000 days left at home! the lady looked at me like i was a demon er something...."well scott, you will regret feeling that way...you will miss her...enjoy these days, it goes by so fast!"

yeah right! shut up you old bag! i felt like saying...!

ok..well i cant wait until she can drive....how about that? im so sick of shuttling this thankless female everywhere...i pick her up almost everyday from golf practice....she fuggen hates golf....shes fuggen good at it.....but hates it! so i have to schlep over there and pick her up and hear how much she hates it....wtf is that? i told her this am to quit golf....im sick of her not liking it...and im sick of having to pick her up in east jesus from a sport she hates...!!!! how was golf? i hate golf! rinse repeat..... i cant wait until she can drive and im not nervous in the least of her driving...im all in...just go drive yourself! beat it!!!!

fugg it bros... kids are space invaders...they spend the shit out of your money and make huge piles of messes in your once nice custom home....thankless bastards! i guess thats their purpose because they are great at it....they constantly take our shit...without asking....they hardly ever thank you for shit...its expected that mom and dad just bend over and take it up the ass for everything...

do colleges give scholarships for mess making....shit disturbing...ingratefulness....thats the only way my kids will be able to go to a solid college...hello MIZZOU!

greatness awaits you if you want it...kids...wifey and i arent holding our breadth tho...we'd have died along time ago if we had...