its fuggen hot!

this heat wave sucks...there is no sense in even going outside...this feeling got me wondering...

what the fugg did they do before air conditioning? houses get very hot on 100 degree days....we crank up the ac...done...but back in the day, people didnt have that convenience....they literally had to go outside to cool off.....stay in your house and u probably die...

i can climb in big d...right now...crank me AC....and drive to the drive thru starbucks....order me a passion fruit sweetened tea....yummers...

back in the day, it was a wet towel on the neck while sitting under the shade tree....

we are all pussies....wah wah wah....we like to blame this heat on climate change....global warming....what the fugg ever? its summer and summer is HOT time...in winter, when its 10 below, we cry and want SUMMER to come quickly....

at least you are not geared up with a 100 lb pack shooting at taliban....or geared up drilling for the up coming football season....

just count your blessings and enjoy the fuggen air conditioner! and drink cold water..

post office blues...

no wonder these fuggs are going out of bidness...broke...or whatever....went to post office today...to pick up a package...poor postman probably took a bite to his ass from sasha only to leave a note that we missed him...

the lady that waited on me was so fuggen stupid and incompetent...she fuggen couldnt scan the bar code...she tried and failed over and over and over and over again....im telling you, this went on for 5 fuggen minutes....i suggested that she enter the numbers in by hand....she looked at me like i was a tard....she kept clicking the scanner...and fail....fail....fail....fail.....the fuggen "beep" the machine made will give me nightmares forever more..id rather fight in Afghanistan than hear that beep again....

so this kept on going and going and going on....so i then mentioned the "entering the numbers by hand" idea....and well....she bit...and guess what....it fuggen worked! im a genious...and she is a fuggen dumb fatass! ..oh and the lady postperson next to the fuggen fat dumbass was deaf....and she spoke like a deaf rehtard....and she was a shitty lip reader too...i swear she misunderstood this fellas question to her....he asked her what a book of stamps costs...her answer was "i give a great bj!" what the fugg!!!????

all of that effort for swiss chocolate sent to our family from our kraut relatives....bummer part about this....I CANT EAT any! yours truly is on a month long diet....fuggen lake of the ozarks somehow made me fat...fuggen 3 days of hoosierism....thats all it takes i guess...

playa again...

im a player again.....took the huge step out of me house and moved back to an office in clayton....i think i was officing out of me house for 5 years......5 fuggen years....5 years of working where you live....its a tough deal....u wake and you go downstairs....u work....u go home by walking upstairs....summers sucked...kids want rides...have friends over.....dogs bark....dogs run away....the worst was the pantry and fridge....instant access to fatness!!!! the mac was just down the street...that was cool...steam shower and shave 3 minutes away!

went to lunch today....by meself....saw 6 brokers that i used to run around with...awesome...actually talked some bidness....huge step and breakthrough for me...there is hope for me after all....maybe...learnin to fly....but i aint got wings...comin down....is the hardest thing...

im taking it slow tho....dont want to dive in too quickly...got to say this tho....shouldve done this years ago....why the fugg is it always like that...? the old adage...i wish i knew back then what i know now...i couldnt imagine the damage and carnage that i would do if i was 21 again....PLAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so far so very good.... i like it here...the fellas here like me....the gals too...the gals always like me....why is that? perhaps i will make some nice jack again....actually....that is a certainty!

me office building is schlocky....however me office space is kinda titty...its 3 times bigger than the closet i was jammed in for those basement years...

feel like the "natural" .... the promising baseball stud that suddenly disappeared from the world....only to return and be a stud yet again....many never achieve studome..i get to achieve it yet again....

goodbye hermit...hello gecko!

lake of the hoosiers

got back from our annual lake of the ozarks trip....this year was kind of cool due to the fact that none of my kids brought friends...oh, they tried, but no one could go...

allowing your kids to bring friends brings on the big time fake dad role play....

some examples:

with friends along..."please son, do not light the wd40 on fire inside the condo.."

without friends...."you fuggen retard! youre going to burn this fugger down and i aint paying for it...shit for brains!!!!!"

with friends along...."sure kids, lets go to golf carts and then get some ice cream afterwards!"

without friends.... "are you fuggen serious???! we just went last night....blew a hundo on you brats....plus im drunk now and fugg if im drivin!"

with friends...." jet ski rental? sure...."

without friends...." just push each other on the pool raft...bring me the makers bottle you shit!!"

with friends...."goddamn it....i need a dip o snuff...!"

without friends...." hey awny, toss me my spit cup!"

with friends..."sure..u can watch a movie on the way home....and ill be sure to turn off my music so you can hear the flick loud and clear..."

without friends...."we are fuggen rockin out...."keep your eyes on the road and your hands up on the wheeeoooooool!"

8 am....vet....3 dogs

we have 3 dogs....we have 3 fuggen dogs....we are stupid stupid people...

taking all 3 to vet this am was a complete disaster...i do all three cuz im not going to the vet on separate occasions....fugg that!

i have major cat allergies.....and this place.. and evidently the human society is having a major run on cats....i have sneezed all damn day....no breaks....ive sneezed more than ive breathed...

my dogs dont behave....they are horrible creatures really....schnicklefuck is the worst....this little bastard shrieks and bites his leesh....he bites the big white dog (sasha) when sasha is on her leash....little fuggen bastard takes advantage of sasha when she is not able to eat him....schnickle bites sasha at her ankles....bite...retreat....rinse ....repeat...and while biting sasha poor ankles....this little fugger shreaks and whales....and make gawd awful yiping noises....its a scene....a horrible scene...fritz poops every time....take him to petsmart...poop.....take him to vet...poop....everywhere you take him, he drops another Rembrandt...

sasha pulls on her leash to the point of pukedom.....kack! kack! uh...oh....bleeeeeeck! cleanup isle 2...

meanwhile...lilly...our new adopted wiener is awesome...she is quiet....well behaved....and awesome...love her...the other 2 can suck it!

day ruiner!

poor ted..at starbucks...ive known this fella for awhile....good peeps he is...he is building a house....as a result, he and his family have moved into his inlaws house temporarily....thats a prison sentence already....

teds in the commercial construction bidness.....seen him at bux twice now in the last week or so.....first time i saw him he asked me the wrong fuggen question....and well....i gave him the right fuggen answer...."hows Bidness?" ANSWER: "dude it sucks ass...and it wont stop sucking ass for a long long time!" top of the muffin to you too! ted was depressed....

just this am....i asked ted how his house is going blah blah blah...... he said it will be completed in november....i laughed out loud while saying something like this...."are you fugging serious?" see, when you build something, youre fugged...timelines never matter...around these here parts you have to accommodate deer season...our house took 3 fuggen years to build....ted is a builder and knows this....he kinda gave me a look that said..."saunders..dont fugg with me this am bro...!" ....i went on to tell him that his old house was a perfectly good house and he will regret this move....then i told him if i had my way....id sell my house and get rid of 3/4 of my shit...move in a condo and send my kids on the bus to public skewl!"

nice seeing you ted....

poor fella

gals werld cup

watched the finals yesterday after watching "go darren" win the british...."go darren" is now the champion golfer of world...er sumptin like that...

gals soccer was pretty sloppy....lots of turnovers...chicks give the ball up way too ez....explains their sexuality really...they dont want the ball so they give it up....easily...they dont understand balls....ew....u take it...

i wish we wouldve played the swedes....they were good looking blondes...better to see 10 good looking blonde's run around than 10 jap chicks....wow they were smokin ugly!

soccer is a fugged up sport...a team can totally dominate and lose....doesnt seem right....the guys flop around trying their best to draw fouls....the gals not so much....

i wont watch gals play sports unless they are good looking...there are a couple real nice looking golf babes....so i tune in when dudes arent playing...

the japs won a game they werent even supposed to win....it was a shame watching our usa gals lose a game they titally dominated...in looks and play...