if i could chose...

a name..for royalty purposes....ez...it would be the name/word..."bag"

everything needs a bag...you got somethng...you need a bag for it....bags bags bags..

squash bag

lacrosse bag

golf bag

soccer bag

grocery bag

computer bag

fun bags

lunch bag

ball bag

d bag

european hand bag

trash bag

leaf bag

vacuum bag

money bag

shit bag

big ole bag of chips

big ole bag of popcorn

big ole bag of cereal

bean bag

nut bag

bird seed bag

bag of hate

eye bags

ass bags

sandwich bag

ziplock bag

my boys need a lacrosse bag for their lax shit...their 3 sticks...wtf do they need three fuggen sticks...? theyve only played one year and their equip would make a duke lax star jealous...i dont get that game...seems cool as shit....but it needs a bag...

at noon today i have a squash match....ill be carrying in me squash bag...it contains 2 racquet's in case i chuck one and it happens to accidentally break....i have a back up....i think my bag has extra shirts....balls...grips and such...its a fuggen bag and i need it...

wifey has a buttload of reusable grocery bags....i guess it makes her feel all warm inside because shes saving a tree....i think she uses them because they dont offer bags at the warehouse she shops at...all i know is that these fuggen bags are green and they are strewn everywhere!

we must have 12 soccer bags from the 20 team my kids have been on....different shapes and colors..at least 4 different clubs....all adding to the rainbow of bags we have in our garage...

lax ball bag hangs down just to the left of big d...i got a chuckle this am because the bag had two balls in it...the bag swayed as i brushed across it while getting in my truck...two balls swaying in their own bag...

after lunch squash...i go to dicks to pick up the bubbas new lax bags....fuggen werld...

damn fuggen darn it

ima dumbass.....accidentally signed up the bubbas for two lacrosse teams for this spring....double the driving...im pissed..

try telling them they cant play for the redshirts...the elite team made up of boys named emerson, tristan, and jeremy...this team never loses....the fancier the name, the better the player...my sons have simple names...

i didnt know that they had a skewl team this season....so now i have to drive these fuggers everywhere..on fuggen weekends...i thought i ridded myself of this when i put the kibosh on their select soccer...that was crazy...wifey and i had no life...driving everywhere...practice...games...special training...uniforms...omgcmnon (oh my gawd cut my nuts off now!) uniforms!!!! uniforms!!!

nothing angers me more than uniforms...i hate them...hate! shall i explain? all i need to do is quote this question that rears its satanic head every fuggen gameday..." dad, where is my uniform?" if i hear that one more muther fuggen time, ill explode...i have thrown their "lost" shit in the pasture before...when it gets really bad......they retrieve it and do better at taking care of their shit for a bit...then they fall back into the dumbass mode..

i hate uniforms ..they are always lost...we have uniform bins...we have uniform safe havens....we have uniform lock boxes FCS! and they still are lost every fuggen time you need them....never ever ever fails.

i blame this on the parents...because without us, little johnny wouldnt play for an organized team...we want them to look great in their 150 dollar uni package....3 stripers....home ...away..and special set...ahhh the special set....clever coach...you want your team to stick out on special occasions...whatever..

without this shit, our kids would be outside playin pickup games...like we used to do...no lined fields...no refs to blow their shitty whistles on shittier calls....no parents yelling...no parents fighting...no calls to the board members asking why sally beotch isnt on the A team...no driving around creation logging countless miles on BIG D only to watch failure after failure...(their lax team does rule however....they didnt win one hoops game this winter...im used to that tho)

fuggen werld we have made for our kids eh? now kids are specially trained for one sport...they do all this specialty training...if youre lucky, and your boy is a blue chipper qb, you get to send your kid to socal so they get trained over the summer by only the best qb coaches on the planet...

my girl plays 3 sports...so do my boys...none of this specialty shit...talk about burnout!

get outside !!!!!!