1.5 readers

today i bit the manopause bullet and purchased a pair of reading glasses....1.5's ...whatever the fugg that means....i guess its better than 2.0...2.5...3.0's

even after lasik (what does that word mean), im still blind...that lasik thing was scary shit..they cut your eyeball....thats gross...then they flip over your eyeball skin flap..and shoot like hell at your eyeball with a laser...put the flap back...then you see crystal clear seconds later...

who the fugg in the wide wide world of sports was the first bastard to have this done to him? probably some poor gulag'ed chinese bastard that said something bad about a commie bastard...

i digress

so now im a fuggen old...white haired....bad fuggen back...1.5 reader wearing...golf loving...willie loehman bidness losing... old sob that drinks his whiskey straight on ice and is getting grumpier by the day...

fat mikey sick

fuggen a ...fat mikey has been sick yesterday and today.....that means i get to clean 3 car washes...and cfb they were dirty...!!!

mikey is cool and all and does the half ass job youd expect....he short cuts....hes lazy..wifey is pissed that he doesnt clean the toilet regularly...we have a toilet in each wash (equipment room..perfect throne)...bonus!!!!...but hes dependable...i dont mind really....except today...it is cold...rainy and wet and cold....and wet..

my feet are still cold and wet and i was finished hours ago...

today was sketchy....its rainy (did i mention that) and many hood cruisers came in...stopped..some made cell calls...and left...this went on for awhile until two police cruisers decided to use my lot for a conference room....this was good and all...since the cruisers were parked there....no one...and i mean no one came in....hmmm ...lets see...its raining and well....car washes dont do any bidness while its raining...so why all the hoods/thugs/pants on the grounders?

this particular wash has been targeted and hit several times over the last 2 months....funny thing is...the fuggen police station is literally...and i mean literally....ACROSS THE STREET from my property and business...( the wash business is an expensive hobby of mine...long story..ill tell later....)...you should catch a glimpse of this police squad...the one fella that came to file the report after our last theft looked like policeman the hut! his teeth were all rotted out too...meth anyone? he did tell us one thing that all should know...ONCE A THUG HAS TAKEN YOUR STUFF...HE THINKS ITS HIS>>>HE EARNED IT....AND HE WILL DEFEND HIMSELF FROM IT BEING RIGHTFULLY TAKEN BACK...in other words....he has what was yours and hell cap yo ass if you try to get it back... nice eh? thanks fatty for the advice...now move along and go eat a fuggen donut...then smoke some meth while you peek out of your police office watching the thugs mark me...

feb 3 is my conceal carry class....one of these days, thatll come in handy...im packin anyway...in missouri, you can pack without a license as long as you are on your property...

should be the 11th commandment

never have words been put together so well...it flows...it teaches...eat...drink...breathe... and live these words....thats all youll ever need to survive this werld we live in..

peace outy

guessin that "sweet tits"...

isnt the best thing to call wifey....im wonderin why at the moment...

whats so wrong with that?

i like her body....and im just telling her so....

hello doghouse....

nfl picks

winners are:

da bears

da pats*

da pack

da ravens

bears will smoke the sea chickens...its cold and crappy in the windy city...i hate watching bears games...they are booooring and their qb is a fuggen brat...he looks like a spoiled punk kid that drove the datsun 280 z in hs...richie rich bastard but he can toss the rock brother!

pats* the * is used by my exclusively whenever i write about the boston patriots*....* equals their raping of my raiders during the infamous snow bowl...tuck rule game...charles woodson comes off the edge hard and strips tom brady of the ball....greg biekert gets the fumble....game over...but nooooo....the nfl had a quick meeting and the powers that be made sure the ruling was an incomplete pass....the pats went on to score and push game into overtime...adam venateri kicked the game winning fg....and the pats* made snow angels in the snow....fugg the werld..i hate everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i lost a friend for months after this game as he was at my joint cheering on the pats*...i still kind of hate him

da pack...should be a boring game cuz its played in a gawd damn fuggen dome...mite as well be watching a stupid convention....indoors blows ass....grow a sack and move the game to the frozen tundra....where men are men and sheep run scared..

da ravens....baltimore is just one big mean sob that hits you in the chin and lines up for more....they are badass...they have a murderer for a middle linebacker and he still plays well for an old fart...suggs is a monster...he looks like a monster...he is an animal....hed be an amazing attraction if he were displayed at the zoo...

went to doc today

love my doc...hes pretty awesome...

today i found out the following:

i have high BP..thats new

i have a slightly swollen prostate..uhhh

i have a very bad back structure...discs...we knew that but its getting worse

my temp was 97...its fuggen cold here!

BP...whos BP isnt high now? this fuggen recession is kickin me in the nuts

Prostate....ok ok..so i got my first total invasion of privacy today....my ass hurts...i feel violated and rightly so...now my back hurts and my ass hurts...i tried hard to talk doc out of this procedure but heck, i was there so it was convenient for him i guess...my ass hurts...im violated and my ass hurts

BACK: my back hurts 24/7...i have tried just about everything sans back fusion....which im tempted...but that might keep me golf game from being as crazy long as it is currently..im booming the ball...my back hurts only before and after activity....while active, pain goes away...so i guess the best cure for me would be running forever...no stopping...just run forest run...i have 3 discs that really dont even exist anymore....cysts...arthritis..herniations...fissures in my discs...wtf is all this shit? and why do i have all these fuggen problems? its sickening! he shot me up with cortizone and i live to fight another day er two...

97 temp....its winter and its cold..so im cold...im never cold but for some strange reason, im getting colder and colder...MANOPAUSE im told....bullshit...im just getting old...soon ill be one of those old fuggs that wears the khaki jacket 24/7

MY ASS HURTS! ive been raped!

pardsy...pards...pardso...

i hate these words...

i get a call from a banker (hate banks, bankers, anything banky) and all of the sudden im in a 4 man golf scramble....for some dumb stupid charity that probably embezzles all the money anyway...you arrive not knowing whos in your group...

some douschbag sees you coming to his cart...stands up...extends his hand out to you and yells..."hey there pardsy!...we are pards!"

shut up you dork...!

every shot...come on pardso!....pick us up (the fuggen guy shanks everything ob and expects you to pick up the team...) he sucks...you dont...but you have to play with this guy for 18 long ass holes...hes the guy you dont want to be around...but you have to...cuz youre pardsy's...see

i know its winter here in the lou...and no i do not have a golf scramble coming up anytime soon....i was just thinking about a partner i have in a property development....thought about the fuggen bank that is bending me over and inserting their big ole fDIC up my ass...and my pardso...pardsy...pards who left me out to hang while he goes the ez route....BK...bancrupcy....ahhhhh the american way....just run the fugg away and leave a trail of fuggen tears behind you....as a society, we go way out of our way to make it ez for the criminals, the crooks...the guys that run and hide behind the fine print...its ez for them...they had nothing in the first place....they play you and you get fuggen played...

well pardso..ill pick up our team....with my fuggen life savings...thanks douschebag!

next time i hear pardsy, pards, partner, pardso...anything like that...im calling my attorney...because ill need to representation...