duck hunt

went on my first duck hunt yesterday...fuggen beauuuuuuutiful! this place was so titty...what is titty? well the "tits" are the best....so if something is "titty"....well...its the best...dont know why this is because im an ass and legs man myself...but tits are pretty cool too...

i digress...

this hunt club was exclusive to 4 brothers and another guy....this place is 200 acres of fowl shooting heaven....many blinds throughout...you had to wade out in the water to these blinds...i guess thats why you need waiters....i didnt have shit..but i knew they had gear for me...and boy did they ever! they had everything...guns and ammo and shit...multiple gators for transport to and fro...

the clubhouse...omfg...this place was mount titty! the tits of the titty! plush accommodations included the nicest of nice in leather sofas, chairs, wood burning stove, huge plasma tv...a gear room full of fuggen awesome hunting gear..lockers...a garage with the titty of titty gators and atvs...THIS PLACE IS AUGUSTA NATIONAL OF DUCK CLUBS!

i was the newbie...only one there that has never hunted before...i was told to wear clothes that i would hike in on a cold day...so i wore jeans...and a bright RED jacket...UHHHHH....yeah...well that wass the funny part of the entire day....WHO the fugg wears red when they are hunting?

Saundoggy does thats who!

i was the brunt of all jokes...thing is tho..it didnt matter, because they had a cammo hunting coat for me anyway.....i knew that...but i went along with the crowd...Ive learned, long ago, that when you are made fun of by your peers, its a good thing...that means they like you....that explains why ive been laughed at pretty much my entire life...i have lots of friends....or im the biggest ASSCLOWN in human history...

we didnt get a bird yesterday...the wind was still and the ducks wouldnt come down to land...its ok tho..i got to fire several shots at some ducks that were apparently just out of range...if they were in range...i wouldve bagged about 3 in one shot...im that good...

im fuggen jazzed about duck hunting now..i want to gear up with all the shit and go again! problem is, i want to go to this place...and no other...ive reached the top and will refuse to slum it!

only the best for saundoggy!

syd passed her drivers test!

finally..i have a kid that drives...!!! totally stoked! we just had a nice family dinner and birthday cake....and now syd too bubbas to mac for some squash....wifey and i have the fuggen house to ourselves...im so giddy! im farting up a storm im so excited!

wifey all nervous and doesnt get my smiles...oh well...to each his/her own...

next step...COLLEGE!!!! baby steps i guess...

bad back...stomach flu...

so i havent blogged in awhile...thats probably bad news for you peeps out there enjoying the many trainwrecks that are unfolding right before your eyes....

ill get back soon....

bad lower back will be the end of me soon....note that....

fuggen wired hair wiener dog...

had dingleberry removal procedure tonight....guess who does that work?

dogs name is schnicklefritz...he is a piece o shit....bites males....

its syds dog...she doesnt take care of the bastard at all....i do..shocker eh.."dad, ill take care of him...i promise!" same shit i pulled on my folks...amazing how shit like that flows down the family tree...

i brush him...bathe him...feed him...water him...and pull shit off his hairy ass....

he is a cute dog tho...if he wasnt...he would have been stomped long ago!

the "bad boy"

sons bought themselves (split it) a sweet automatic airsoft gun...M1A1 thompson...real wood...metal...523 feet per second firing speed....6 bullets per second...semi auto and automatic...

560 bullet capacity clip...

i shot it this am..into the small pond in our front yard....and for an instance...i knew what it was like to be on the high ground shooting from a pill box...

this baby is sweeeeeeeeet!

problem is, there is only one...the twins are splitting it....this should be a bunch of fun when the dorktards fuggen fight over it...then it gets thrown out into the pasture...!

id hate to be on the accepting end of this bad boy...welt city! better not be me...

this weekend im going to turkey hunt the bubbas with this bad boy....they love it,...i sit up on the high ground, and they run for their lives....they are well clothed and have helmet and full face gear on...so no one gets hurt....that much

wash duty with syd

mikey still on vaca...yesterday and today, i got some help with the car washes...syd...cant believe the worlds laziest kid helped her dad...not once...but twice...syd out of skewl today...teacher workshop shit..

ahh..she turns 16 next week....car anyone?

kids kill me...when they want shit they turn up the bullshit

always loved xmas time...leverage city! my kids will lick my shoes for a crack at their xmas list...its so much fun watching them grovel...

syd did well...i was surprised...at one of the washes today....a pants on the ground punk (this dudes pants were near his calf...lowest pants ive ever seen) was jamming a song..oh my...this song was a beauty..."im gunna mudder fugg u all nite long mudder fugger!" this lyric went on and on..over and over....syd was cracking up...i was kinda crackin up....it was unreal...and loud...and clear...great artists at work!

greatness!

this poor bastard..all that shit he bought for junior will be his demise...if he survives....poor junior!!!