wash duty with syd

mikey still on vaca...yesterday and today, i got some help with the car washes...syd...cant believe the worlds laziest kid helped her dad...not once...but twice...syd out of skewl today...teacher workshop shit..

ahh..she turns 16 next week....car anyone?

kids kill me...when they want shit they turn up the bullshit

always loved xmas time...leverage city! my kids will lick my shoes for a crack at their xmas list...its so much fun watching them grovel...

syd did well...i was surprised...at one of the washes today....a pants on the ground punk (this dudes pants were near his calf...lowest pants ive ever seen) was jamming a song..oh my...this song was a beauty..."im gunna mudder fugg u all nite long mudder fugger!" this lyric went on and on..over and over....syd was cracking up...i was kinda crackin up....it was unreal...and loud...and clear...great artists at work!

greatness!

this poor bastard..all that shit he bought for junior will be his demise...if he survives....poor junior!!!

fuggen moron

wifey and her gal pals got 8 ticks to see chelsea handler manana nite..ill pass thank you..

their super mega rich sugar daddy at the mac gave them his suite for the show and they asked me to sell their tickets on craigslist...

bad idea....im ADD and i fugged up bad..basically....i lost them each about 50 bucks per ducket...

how u ask...? well i got cocky as one responder wanted to know if id pair them for 125....i said hell yes..thinking he meant 125 per ticket....the gals thought i was fuggen pimp daddy phat...

i got another fellow for the same deal....problem was, he meant 125 for the pair as well...

saundoggy said "deal!" so i guess i have to go with it...TWICE! 4 tickets for a 200 buck ducket fugget loss!

you do someone a favor and you end up shitting the sheets..

i get all upset about this little shit...hell it aint even my money...thing is tho...i was all strutty earlier, braggin about my "wheelin and dealin!" in front of the bitches (that their nickname for their flock) and now im all YIPE YIPE YIPE ...like a punished dog..

pimpin aint ez my friends....price you pay to help out....now i know why people walk by and ignore the mugging...

wifey wont be happy...as she was all proud of me earlier...YIPE!!!!

my friday

615 am ...wake up

630 am ... go to starbucks....get a red eye for me and a latte for wifey

7am...its bread co friday...i take kids to skewl in the ams and on fridays we go to stl bread co...where the kids order up and saundoggy sits on his ass drinking his starbucks red eye

730 am...drop kids off to their very exclusive private skewl...this place is unreal..it should be...$$$.. in my crewmax....while dodging the lexus' ....benz's...and out of our RANGEROVERS!

8am...i get to clean and maintain our 3 car washes...big mikey is in fla for a week...i love this work..its awesome, as long as i dont get my ass capped by the pants on the grounders....it can get scary

830 am...meet my sign guy...going to brand my washes...KEEP IT CLEAN CARWASH...gunna use the keep on truckin dude as my mascot...why the fugg not..!?

130pm...show space at one of our retail centers to a gun and ammo shop....kick fuggen ass!!! id love to have em as a tenant...might just offer them 1 yr free rent...this place is very old skewl cool....guns are awesome!

5pm...pick up bubbas from their last football practice...watching them play football has been the coolest of all cool....well...just as cool as that gun and ammo shop..

530pm...squash league...ima mess...i choke every match this year...for some reason...im an absolute wreck...it makes for some great stories....one of these days i might be leaving the court in cuffs....

630pm...makers mark

"chief" "guy" "ace" "sport"

i was called GUY today and well.....any one that calls you that should be smashed ballside by a sledgehammer..

checking the douche bag dictionary:

Chief

-noun

1. a word used by a total douche bag uses to point out the leader of people.

"hey chief! what do you say about having some brandy in the hearth room after some snooker?"

2. boss or leader

"hey chief! what do you say we go out to the clubs after we dump these hookers after having some brandy in the hearth room after some snooker?"

Guy

-noun

1. a boy, man or fellow...douche bags use this when demanding a service...

"hey guy, why dont you bring my car out front after me and the misses sip on some brandy in the hearth room after some snooker!"

Ace

-noun

1. douche bag word that replaces the word "stud" "stallion"

"wow ace! you really scored with those 3 girls after sipping on the brandy in the hearth room after shooting snooker!"

Sport

-noun

1. a noun, usually stated by a sweater vest wearing, great Gatsby looking, total d bag to replace someones.... in the highest of demographics... real name....

"hey sport, looking good...after driving my bentley to the country club and playing 18 and then driving my bentley to the squash club and playing a match, why dont we talk about all of our great financial accomplishments and how we screwed people out of all their savings in our ponzi scheme while sipping brandy in the hearth room after shooting snooker?"

never hunted before...got an invite...

and im fuggen all in....! after shooting sporting clays...saundoggy is officially an outdoorsy kind o fella....

a big , powerful, italian family owned real estate developer invited the dawg out for a duck hunt...ive never..in my sorry life...ever shot and killed a living creature...my pops always went pheasant hunting and i always passed....pops has an arsenal of weaponry....and all of the sudden, im interested in having these jewels added to my pitiful arsenal...

november 18....i get to "enjoy a day of duck hunting, food, and friendship..." kick fuggen ass!

i have zero equipment..but guess what???....its all provided....no gun...PROVIDED...no AMMO...PROVIDED....no cammo...PROVIDED! no clue....HOPEFULLY PROVIDED!!!

i hope i dont shoot someone....im big time ADD...i sure hope i listen to the rules otherwise someone might get hurt...sure hope i dont dip into the makers while out in the blind...that could be very bad.....im hopin this italian family doesnt put me in cement shoes after i make a complete jackass out of myself...!

im giddy....im gunna blow those little bastards out of the fuggen sky!!!!

no more touchy feely animal lover....ima killer....ima mess!

my tard daughter

kid has it all....smarts...looks...common sense...athletic ability from the heavens...

always after her to practice....work on her game, hone her skills...whatever that game is...soccer, golf, squash, you name it....she could be a great one! it would be a bonus on her resume for college admission....if she wouldve practiced her golf for maybe 5 hours max..not a day...just 5 hours......shed be good enough to get a scholarship...... she has that much potential...but no...she HATES golf...! hell...she hates her coaches (every fuggen one of em), teachers, me, wifey....her brothers...etc etc etc!!!

her take on this encouragement....and i quote.."ill never be good because you said i wont be, so im not going to practice."

would someone please come take her away please....and return after paying for her remaining hs and college tuition...PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!! im begging you!... actually...dont return her until you pay for her fuggen wedding!

mizzou here she comes! fine by me!