hide! duck!

i was just out back hitting 7 irons into the pasture...hitting em pure...as usual...one got away from me tho....badly...this hook had a hook....no way a ball should go where this one was going...impossible!...it was well struck tho...i was calling for the ball to get down!  get down you fuggen bastid!  why you ask?  well...traffic....thats why...

i got lucky...as the vehicle my ball struck was a tow truck...impact was on the side...perhaps the wheel...it was loud enough for me to hear ...about 175 yards away...thats how far i hit a 7...im awesome...

i immediately ran inside...hide!  i went to the front of the house ...pulled the curtains back a wee bit...peeked out the window of my dining room...hoping that said tow truck wasnt going to hang a u eee...it didnt...whew!  im glad it wasnt a lexus or a bently or a mercedes....bmw...out of our range rover... etal...


this got me remembering back to a time...back in the day....memorial...houston texas....out with SD that night...in his ford bronco...the big boy....the oj bronco...he was speeding through a our friends neighborhood and well....johnny fuggen law put on his bubble gum lights...shit!  we are busted...!  our buddy told SD to lose him...so SD listened and well...the chase was on...our buddy to SD..."turn here...left...turn here right...i mean left,,,!"  well SD went right ..and we were dead ended...SD pulls into a driveway...proceeded to tell us..."HIDE....DUCK!"

so we ducked...just like a kid playing hide n seek by covering their eyes...you cant see them so they cant see you....kids are stupid...just like the brave pilots in the movie independence day...will smith and jeff goldblum...they put the window shield down as they downloaded the virus into the mothership...the alien pressed a button and the shield went up...they proceeded to HIDE! DUCK!

luckily....johnny fuggen law was a neighborhood constable....not a full fledged houston texas badass...

flashlight getting nearer...we were fugged!  we were gigling like little girls too....how does one not laugh...?

this barny fife fella let us go...couldnt believe it...i think he saw who SD was and gave us a pass...


so im hitting 7 irons and it reminds me of hide! DUCK!  im ready for the golf season..im purey mcpurington!

im a huge fan of peace and quiet....love being alone....but this weekend i have kinda changed my ways somewhat....with wifey still out cruising, and my kids having plans all weekend, i have been very lonely...

last night, for instance, i was pathetic....i was so bored that i you tubed how to make a perfect pyramid with bucky balls....bucky balls rule...they are highly magnetized little balls that one can make shapes and forms with...they are highly addicting and i cant stop playing with my balls!


i wanted to take my sons to dicks last night....they need new cleats...their feet are growing like morning wood and by god, they need new fuggen shoes about every 2 months....they were busy tho...at their friends house...they have spent the last 2 nights away from home....usually i would be giddy about this....but strangely this time, im lonely and it sucked....

its very nice out now, but im stuck doing laundry...and why does every single fuggen kids game have to be scheduled right smack in the middle of every single damn weekend day?????  maddening...

wifey emailed me...she is having fun in the Caribbean...wow...shocker there....

im going to play with my balls and fold laundry....

legos

im a lego nut..love legos..and i build cool lego shit too...i have mastered the star wars collection as ive completed the star destroyer...(4000 plus pieces) and vaders tie fighter...(3000 pieces)

these beauties are on full display in my great room....i call it the great room because before i displayed my lego beauties there, it was the good room....these two beauties now make it the great room...

legos kick ass...the only thing wrong with legos is their break ability...you fix one fuggen piece and 3 other commence to falling off...fuck!  it sucks as the domino affect is never ending..

our cleaning crew always breaks these things...i leave notes to stay the fugg away....they cant read i think...last week, the damage was epic...and i was pissed!  it got to the point where i was oh so close to chucking these fuggers in a box...box em up until next winter...

i thought long and hard for about 3 seconds...do i fire the cleaning people or do i repair this shit?  I decided to go into full repair mode...i got out the gorilla glue and began the strip down and repair...im gluing critical pieces...foundational segments of the infrastructure...elements critical to superstructure integrity....

and the destruction began....as i would fix this and that while that and this fell the fugg off....leaving me with numerable pieces with no home...so i had to dig out the manual...this manual is a phone book....and finding the right place to go is a research project in itself....but i had to do this...must ...because my good room needs to become great again!

the force is with me...they came from behind!...its a trap!...chumba looka low...oy oy! ewok song is kinda gay...

picking up kids from skewl

wifey left me for a bit...as she sails the Caribbean on a huge luxury ship...im home with kids...because my daughter really doesnt do much to help out, im picking up bubbas from skewl....and since im back to blogging...i noticed a whole bunch from my pick up experience yesterday...

its seems as tho the stepfords love picking up their "children" from school....not only do they embrace this opportunity to be seen,  they love it....thrive on it...get totally into it!

its social hour on the lot...they go from suv to suv...bouncing around gabbing to whomever will listen...the chit chat..the gossip...the horror!

they are all pros...they all know way more about your offspring than you do...its artwork...its uncanny...

we have 2 options...you either get into the line or you park your car and walk into the collection area...the ones that walk to the collection area all have fido in tow...its like a fuggen dog park...and this gives them more to talk about...they accessorize themselves with a k9...and a coach purse...and black leather boots...once they see their pride and joy, they escort them to their mercedes or their (out of my) range rover....all smiling and happy that everyone sees them...

i pull up in big d....park in the handicap space and wait for the bubbas to come to me...who wants to get out of their truck?  i dont...i listen to espn radio and wait...and watch the circus clowns mingle and mix...with k9 in tow...i cant wait until fido drops a duece...

whats wrong with people? 

we used to hop on board big yellow and pray that the ex con bus driver would remember his route...nothing beat the bus ride...the fellowship...the bond we had with your neighborhood buds...the cussing...the scamming...plans were made on the bus...

deady mc threadington

sorry folks...ive been bizzy...just havent had the spirit to keep the insanity going...time to kick start this baby into the normal blissful dysfunction..

just dropped off wifey at the airport...she will be on a first class Caribbean cruise for the next week plus...she is on the big boat with her sister and parents...oh what fun...

i have the children for the week....and the 3 k9's...my only duty, other than the survival of my offspring and the dogs is to feed the inlaws cat...

hate the word "children".... it sounds so stupid.....the children...my child....my children....bout to puke...i just cant stand that word....love my kids tho....when someone says "children" its as tho they are talking down to you...its something ms doutfire would say....in zoning meetings, there is always some nag that stands up for the "children."   

several years ago, when my bidness was thriving, i got a piece of ground rezoned for a walgreens...this was a slam dunker until some beotch stood up during the public hearing and stated..."i stand here before you for the children!"  are u fuggen kidding????   this ninny went on to say that she has a concern for the many children that will cross the busy road, attempting to avoid near death, wanting to purchase cigs and candy at our walgreens...see something wrong here?...i chuckled to myself until i looked around and saw several board members actually lending this wingnut an ear...and the debate began...a debate that nearly killed my deal...because....another fuggen ninny started in on this debate....and another...and another.....the children the children the children...stomp my nads!..we barely passed...4 to 3...thanks moms...u suck!

the many bad influences that a walgreens brings to the community was an education for me...and this was when walgreens was not selling....ready for this...alcohol...one after the next..."the children will get run over..killed...going to your walgreens...."  i sat there pissing myself... i wanted to tell these ninnys a thing or two about their precious children...

our development is a very successful one...well planned....this trade area is vehicle friendly....its not mayberry....and in its seventh year of being online, i have yet to see a child cross this highway to get cigs, beer, candy or tampons...


i hate the word "children"...and i despise ninny moms!