Its raining fuggen toupees!

SD had the FAM out to his lovely cottage on Harbor Point...in HOYTY TOYTEEE Harbor Springs MICHIGAN.....place is fuggen awesome...full of ST Louisans tho...cant escape those bastards!  MUFFY BIFFY...quickly a game of tennis then off to the yacht...hmmmmm hmmmm.....fresca!?


SD and i played bucu golf...thats what the michigan billboards say to do....so we did...

last day o trip, SD and i played LITTLE TRAVERSE BAY GC....sweet track...very titty!  we hooked up with these two fellas....scott and OU..call him OH YOU (OU) because i cant forget the somebitches name....

On 18, OU is having his trubs....he fuggen layed the mud wrench out with full force and effect...fuggen 12 inch long beaver pelts were flying....he single handily created 3 lake foundations in the middle of the fairway....these divots would get you 10 bucks at a russian trading post...

im snickering to SD...told dave ..."its raining toupees!"    SD apparently liked that joke and laughed out loud...

i drove our cart just past OU....told him...."Dave said that its raining toupees!"

Im back!

dont fugga parrot!

whacked Wednesday...

ive assembled some funny shit and thought id share....

top article + bottom article = a fuggen party!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2137297/Munich-nymphomaniac-Second-victim-weeping-street.html

+

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/05/01/tagblogsfindlawcom2012-legallyweird-idUS210841088720120501



+

EQUALS...........................................................PARTY!  and sore bits and pieces

work it parents....it means so much....TO YOU!

wifey and i are knee deep in the shit...the political shit...kids shit...

we dont wine and dine coaches so junior gets to start...
we dont call the coach...
we dont work the pick up line..i stay in my truck and wait for my kids to find my ass
we dont volunteer for nothing...we pay out our collective asses for our 3 money withdrawers to attend prep skewl

i heard a story yesterday....most likely it is true...parents flying coach out on  their private jet to their place in socal...wine and dine....and junior is starting....nice lesson there eh?

we cant offer much....maybe a short weekend at the lake of the ozarks...stay at my friends 1970s throwback condo...bad fishing...bad food...perhaps a round or two of great gof...the boys can then make the B team....oh wait, they are already there...

i refuse to play this game...my plane isnt going anywhere for anyone except for me...in my dreams...actually i dont need a fuggen plane to fly...in my dreams....its three steps and a jump and im off....awesomeness!

i told my sons to work their asses off this coming summer....hit the weights and pound the amino acids...eat like crazy....become a beast..they are working hard and they are getting results...FUGGEN FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!...dad aint gunna pucker and kiss no ones sphinctor..

i sit and watch as these parasite parents whore their way around and im fuggen sick of it....i feel strongly that someone needs to go off the reservation and make a statement...

the kids arent learning shit....the parents look at their kids as fuggen trophies....its sickening...i kinda knew this shit was going on back in the day...why else would mickey labinsky make the A soccer team?  his dad bought the team new Adidas uniforms...i saw mr labinsky talking to coach during tryouts...my dad never...ever watched my practices...tryouts...why would he?  he knew that his son was going to bust his ass...and he knew his boy was talented beyond the norm...i was a very good soccer player back in the day...didnt make the A team that year tho...i was crushed...coach had no explanation...started for this team for 3 years...traveled...won cups...i was the sweeper...no one got by me...

that was my last year of soccer....8th grade...i gutted it out on the B team... started for the A team during travel tourneys....got to wear those new Adidas unis thanks to mr labinsky....

parents can really fugg things up for their kids....and while doing so, there is always collateral damage...

golf tourney...wow im good...

i suck at this blog thing...i get all into it and then disappear...like a fart in the wind..

just now, my retarded brain just told me to make an entry....so i do this now..

no idea what to write about..

golf season is upon us...love the game....its greatness on wheels..

entered a scratch medal play tourney last weekend at one of me fav "tracks"...GATEWAY NATIONAL GOLF LINKS...

i was the aarp guy in the 4some...these kids are fuggen awesome...they kill the ball and they are fearless....guess what?  so is the dog!  i crushed it all day...didnt miss one drive....take that you young fag!  i had nothing in common with these gents...fuggers were about half my age....what do you talk about....?  "yeah man, i went to the WHO concert in 79....they fuggen rocked it!"

one of our group....tony....he won the tourney....shot a cool 71...yours truly shot a 78...good enough  for 5th place and a "thanks for playing today!"...tony was cool...he liked the way i drew the ball...thats enough for me to like a guy....

the other two fellas, im horrible with names so i couldnt tell you their name if my life depended on it, left quickly....pooof they gone!...they didnt play so well....scratch golfers but i guess the pressure got to them....or maybe it was me..." hey guys, you playing golf today?  this will be a fun time eh?" one fella, i nicknamed "redass."  this guy never fuggen smiled and walked like he had poison ivy in his crack....this guy wouldnt smile if he won the mega millions....what gives...? 

i had bad gas that day and i took it to the course with me....there is only so many times you can blame your output on the east side aroma...pretty much sure that they knew it was coming from the geritol guy...the fella with the white hair and walked with a limp...i did look great tho...always do when i golf....tommy b silk pants...lacoste golf shirt with pocket (for me dip can)....mizuno white golf hat...not wearing visors much anymore....apparently im balding because me head gets burnt now...fuggen old guy....

I played well....one double booger...finished with a bird...lots of pars...several boogers...struck it well....nice big ole draw that caught the fancy of me mates....love to bend it...just makes the game more fun....


oh well....gateway is having a match play tourney in a couple of weeks...my luck, ill  have to spend 5 hours with redass....

been too long..again...RSR, an explaination

i guess im lazy...or out of ideas...

lots of funny things have happened since my last post....but i just dont want to write about it much anymore...

lots of people owe me money....and that has me down

i will say this tho....beware of the RSR....unless you are with a hot member of the opposite sex....i guess its ok if you are a homosexual...nothing wrong with that...

the RSR is the Reverse Shoulder Ride....think about it as an "in your face 69"


this term came up with my thread fellas...im in an email thread that consists of 12 of the coolest dudes on earth....we all went to college together...sigma chis....and we are in constant communication almost daily...for many years....about 15 plus probably...

 the RSR came up as i was telling all that 2 of our fellow threaders were probably giving each other a  reverse shoulder ride while celebrating the Rugby 7s world championships in hong kong....it just came out.... humor was missed by many ....it took awhile to regurgitate the beauty of my term...and when it was finally interpreted....well it was a funny moment...

just defined it on urban dictionary....awaiting for editor approval.....

the RSR....get your junk out of my face!

hide! duck!

i was just out back hitting 7 irons into the pasture...hitting em pure...as usual...one got away from me tho....badly...this hook had a hook....no way a ball should go where this one was going...impossible!...it was well struck tho...i was calling for the ball to get down!  get down you fuggen bastid!  why you ask?  well...traffic....thats why...

i got lucky...as the vehicle my ball struck was a tow truck...impact was on the side...perhaps the wheel...it was loud enough for me to hear ...about 175 yards away...thats how far i hit a 7...im awesome...

i immediately ran inside...hide!  i went to the front of the house ...pulled the curtains back a wee bit...peeked out the window of my dining room...hoping that said tow truck wasnt going to hang a u eee...it didnt...whew!  im glad it wasnt a lexus or a bently or a mercedes....bmw...out of our range rover... etal...


this got me remembering back to a time...back in the day....memorial...houston texas....out with SD that night...in his ford bronco...the big boy....the oj bronco...he was speeding through a our friends neighborhood and well....johnny fuggen law put on his bubble gum lights...shit!  we are busted...!  our buddy told SD to lose him...so SD listened and well...the chase was on...our buddy to SD..."turn here...left...turn here right...i mean left,,,!"  well SD went right ..and we were dead ended...SD pulls into a driveway...proceeded to tell us..."HIDE....DUCK!"

so we ducked...just like a kid playing hide n seek by covering their eyes...you cant see them so they cant see you....kids are stupid...just like the brave pilots in the movie independence day...will smith and jeff goldblum...they put the window shield down as they downloaded the virus into the mothership...the alien pressed a button and the shield went up...they proceeded to HIDE! DUCK!

luckily....johnny fuggen law was a neighborhood constable....not a full fledged houston texas badass...

flashlight getting nearer...we were fugged!  we were gigling like little girls too....how does one not laugh...?

this barny fife fella let us go...couldnt believe it...i think he saw who SD was and gave us a pass...


so im hitting 7 irons and it reminds me of hide! DUCK!  im ready for the golf season..im purey mcpurington!

im a huge fan of peace and quiet....love being alone....but this weekend i have kinda changed my ways somewhat....with wifey still out cruising, and my kids having plans all weekend, i have been very lonely...

last night, for instance, i was pathetic....i was so bored that i you tubed how to make a perfect pyramid with bucky balls....bucky balls rule...they are highly magnetized little balls that one can make shapes and forms with...they are highly addicting and i cant stop playing with my balls!


i wanted to take my sons to dicks last night....they need new cleats...their feet are growing like morning wood and by god, they need new fuggen shoes about every 2 months....they were busy tho...at their friends house...they have spent the last 2 nights away from home....usually i would be giddy about this....but strangely this time, im lonely and it sucked....

its very nice out now, but im stuck doing laundry...and why does every single fuggen kids game have to be scheduled right smack in the middle of every single damn weekend day?????  maddening...

wifey emailed me...she is having fun in the Caribbean...wow...shocker there....

im going to play with my balls and fold laundry....

legos

im a lego nut..love legos..and i build cool lego shit too...i have mastered the star wars collection as ive completed the star destroyer...(4000 plus pieces) and vaders tie fighter...(3000 pieces)

these beauties are on full display in my great room....i call it the great room because before i displayed my lego beauties there, it was the good room....these two beauties now make it the great room...

legos kick ass...the only thing wrong with legos is their break ability...you fix one fuggen piece and 3 other commence to falling off...fuck!  it sucks as the domino affect is never ending..

our cleaning crew always breaks these things...i leave notes to stay the fugg away....they cant read i think...last week, the damage was epic...and i was pissed!  it got to the point where i was oh so close to chucking these fuggers in a box...box em up until next winter...

i thought long and hard for about 3 seconds...do i fire the cleaning people or do i repair this shit?  I decided to go into full repair mode...i got out the gorilla glue and began the strip down and repair...im gluing critical pieces...foundational segments of the infrastructure...elements critical to superstructure integrity....

and the destruction began....as i would fix this and that while that and this fell the fugg off....leaving me with numerable pieces with no home...so i had to dig out the manual...this manual is a phone book....and finding the right place to go is a research project in itself....but i had to do this...must ...because my good room needs to become great again!

the force is with me...they came from behind!...its a trap!...chumba looka low...oy oy! ewok song is kinda gay...

picking up kids from skewl

wifey left me for a bit...as she sails the Caribbean on a huge luxury ship...im home with kids...because my daughter really doesnt do much to help out, im picking up bubbas from skewl....and since im back to blogging...i noticed a whole bunch from my pick up experience yesterday...

its seems as tho the stepfords love picking up their "children" from school....not only do they embrace this opportunity to be seen,  they love it....thrive on it...get totally into it!

its social hour on the lot...they go from suv to suv...bouncing around gabbing to whomever will listen...the chit chat..the gossip...the horror!

they are all pros...they all know way more about your offspring than you do...its artwork...its uncanny...

we have 2 options...you either get into the line or you park your car and walk into the collection area...the ones that walk to the collection area all have fido in tow...its like a fuggen dog park...and this gives them more to talk about...they accessorize themselves with a k9...and a coach purse...and black leather boots...once they see their pride and joy, they escort them to their mercedes or their (out of my) range rover....all smiling and happy that everyone sees them...

i pull up in big d....park in the handicap space and wait for the bubbas to come to me...who wants to get out of their truck?  i dont...i listen to espn radio and wait...and watch the circus clowns mingle and mix...with k9 in tow...i cant wait until fido drops a duece...

whats wrong with people? 

we used to hop on board big yellow and pray that the ex con bus driver would remember his route...nothing beat the bus ride...the fellowship...the bond we had with your neighborhood buds...the cussing...the scamming...plans were made on the bus...

deady mc threadington

sorry folks...ive been bizzy...just havent had the spirit to keep the insanity going...time to kick start this baby into the normal blissful dysfunction..

just dropped off wifey at the airport...she will be on a first class Caribbean cruise for the next week plus...she is on the big boat with her sister and parents...oh what fun...

i have the children for the week....and the 3 k9's...my only duty, other than the survival of my offspring and the dogs is to feed the inlaws cat...

hate the word "children".... it sounds so stupid.....the children...my child....my children....bout to puke...i just cant stand that word....love my kids tho....when someone says "children" its as tho they are talking down to you...its something ms doutfire would say....in zoning meetings, there is always some nag that stands up for the "children."   

several years ago, when my bidness was thriving, i got a piece of ground rezoned for a walgreens...this was a slam dunker until some beotch stood up during the public hearing and stated..."i stand here before you for the children!"  are u fuggen kidding????   this ninny went on to say that she has a concern for the many children that will cross the busy road, attempting to avoid near death, wanting to purchase cigs and candy at our walgreens...see something wrong here?...i chuckled to myself until i looked around and saw several board members actually lending this wingnut an ear...and the debate began...a debate that nearly killed my deal...because....another fuggen ninny started in on this debate....and another...and another.....the children the children the children...stomp my nads!..we barely passed...4 to 3...thanks moms...u suck!

the many bad influences that a walgreens brings to the community was an education for me...and this was when walgreens was not selling....ready for this...alcohol...one after the next..."the children will get run over..killed...going to your walgreens...."  i sat there pissing myself... i wanted to tell these ninnys a thing or two about their precious children...

our development is a very successful one...well planned....this trade area is vehicle friendly....its not mayberry....and in its seventh year of being online, i have yet to see a child cross this highway to get cigs, beer, candy or tampons...


i hate the word "children"...and i despise ninny moms!

your fix for my miserable blog entries...

available at your local skaggs, walgreens, rite aid, woolworths, and quick trips..

amazing what we stupid parents

do for our kids...

back in the day, we played outside....we organized neighborhood games...smear the queer....pickle...500...endless days and nights of fun and frivolity...you were on your own at school...you were absolutely horrified if you ever saw your parents at school...

now its a fuggen joke...kids wont play unless there are sidelines and referees present with fuggen whistles...making horrible call after horrible call...

now we dumbass parents drive our chillin around aimlessly while our lives together as husband and wife wither away in the abyss...no time for any fun for ourselves...

now we fuggen buy our kids a shitload of sporting goods and gear for sports that our little fuggen offspring have a passion for...a passion that lasts 3 days...

now we meet with teachers almost every week...administrators...tutors...college prep fuggers...act...sat...

now we receive emails from johnny's and susy's teachers telling us how great or shitty they did on a fuggen worthless quiz...

now buy our kids lessons for sports because they refuse to call up a friend for a game....



pussies!  the  United States of Pussies~

light saber anyone?

http://www.clickorlando.com/news/Man-wearing-Darth-Vader-mask-attacked-trooper-witnesses-say/-/1637132/7647618/-/q6fu81z/-/index.html






i dont believe what i see here...vader could easily taken this cop down with a force choke...uhhh vader, light saber maybe???


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cnL80ItPxA


god damnit...fight back~!

off for awhile....

ive been off for awhile...last post was back in mid december...yikes...ran out of spite steam i guess..
i have plenty built up...deadly spite buildup...

well 2011 sucked ass....nothing good came from that miserable 365 days...

thinking that 2012 will be better....but probably not...

had a pretty good xmas...gotta couple good gifts..gun cleaning kit was my favorite..and a very cool nfl sack....the rest sucked...wifey got me a nice ipad case...too bad i dropped it one week before i got the case...fuggen werld...great timing

raiders lost their last game...out of the playoffs again...knocked out of fantasy playoff picture on the last week of season play...

now i get to suffer for 7 months before i get to suffer yet again....fuggen raiders...losers!

the new "bachelor" season started and this season looks to be dynamite!  so many hotties with major issues...like watching a train wreck...love that show

timing is everything...i mean everything....if a genie popped out of my makers bottle and i had one wish...id wish for perfect timing....id be awesome at everything...bidness...sports....sex...its all in timing...everything!

later...