theyre here...

 

 

 

 

 

1947 - A Significant Year. Hope this gives you a little chuckle. Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little more than 66 years ago, numerous witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object with 5 aliens aboard crashed on to a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell New Mexico. This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the United States Air Force as well as other federal agencies and organizations.
However, what you may not know is that in the month of April 1948, nine months after the historic day the following people were born: Barack Obama Sr., Albert A Gore Jr., Hillary Rodham Clinton, William J. Clinton, John Kerry, Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, Charles E Schumer, Barbara Boxer, and Joe Biden. This is the consequences of aliens breeding with sheep and jackasses. I truly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It certainly did for me. And now you can stop wondering why they support the bill to help ALL illegal aliens.

look away...its different for me

dose of reality people...our kids are doing what we did and doing it better...they are smarter...more equipped...better staffed...funded...you think we know this....everyone says it....but do you really know it...do you look away and tell yourself....NAH...rainbows and glitter???

we all know people that have found religion... im getting back into an  understanding of religion...Jesus was an awesome fella regardless if he is the SOG...this world needs more JESUS's or Jesuses...or Multiple Jesus like people...I'm dumbfounded though by the born agains....Born agains are no different than the parents described above....the rainbow and glitter crowd.....they had their fun but now shame those that do or did exactly what they did...party party, jesus, bible study, tell all how bad party party is....cycles go in circles so maybe "party party" will happen again one day...

Huge dose of these parents...the denial parents...the lookaway crowd...this weekend....as my kid grows up, I know whats happening...I think its awesome actually...I embrace this...we guide and we consult....we hug and we discuss....you can only do so much....we don't enable, MUCH...I find the growing up process fascinating...I embrace it...

 I got the look this weekend....the look from parents....all it took to get the "look" was a short conversation with a parent regarding some missing booze (vodka) from our house...kids dig the clear stuff....it looks like water...who knew?...wish I would've thought about that back in our day....but we didn't have bottled water...we had thermoses...I digress.....this conversation took place very innocently....all we wanted to do was alert said parent that the kids are drinking..period...end of story....not that their kid is drinking...we found some empty vodka bottles in our storage room...that's it...I usually throw my empties under my bed, so it wasn't me....this happened two years ago...this parent (mom) struck us from the "record."   we were in grownup time out....sentenced for eternity...

We took the bullet...I don't give two fucks about it.... I don't need this crap....people like this aren't allowed in my camp anyway...fake phony frauds.....beat it!  no more interaction with this group...so the fugg what!!!??? now I don't have to miss my shows for a cocktail party with muffy and biff!

speaking of shows:

duck dynasty
hardcore pawn
defiance
pawn stars
overhauling
sons of guns

are way better than hanging with the lookaway retards!

DRAFT!!!!!!

the NFL draft began last night....round one

WOW, the NFL has created a monster....it seemed every fuggen pick had some kind of sponsor to it...one was some fatass Bostonian speaking up for his town post bombing...sweet caroline...bah bah bah....WTF!!!??...another pick was sponsored by the armed forces...marching on the stage are reps from the army, navy, AF, Marines etal...some kid introduced a teams pick...id missed that one but heard it as I was refereeing a fight between wifey and daughter....something about a stupid shirt my kid ordered using my Credit card...seems like every fuggen pick was an agenda...

One round took about 3 fuggen hours....my team picked third because they sucked last year....they traded their pick and got their player anyway....yay!  many teams made curious selections...the cowboys, giants, bears, and saints looked silly last night...the guy the saints picked looked like a fuggen Puerto Rican knife wielder..  Giants picked  Augustus Gloop... bears picked a guy who has played the position he was drafted for a couple of games...

Worst pick..by far...was Dallas Cowboys::


31 (31) Cowboys (from 49ers): Travis Frederick, C, Wisconsin
Analysis: Unable to upgrade the middle of their offensive line or pick up Longhorns star Vaccaro to fix their issues at safety, Dallas drops down and winds up with Frederick, a center who wasn't projected as a first rounder in most circles. However, it's rarely a bad idea to pick a Badgers blocker, especially given the Cowboys' difficulties running he ball in 2012 (next to last in the league).

Believe me, I know what happens when a team picks a player that shocks the pundits....many many many times, Kim Jung Al would pick some fella and the studio guys wouldn't have footage on the poor sap..  Travis Frederick???  the guys name says it all....when your name is so much cooler saying backwards..youre in trubs...Fred Travis vs Trav Fredericks......case closed!

C Punt v nut racking

Funniest fuggen word ever....as fella, very frightened of getting racked....it hurts...a lot!  the pain is like no other...ive broken bones, gashed my flesh, been operated on, have major pain issues, etc etc...but nothing compares to a square hit...a pure stab....a solid whack to the ball sack....the initial pain is bad enough...the pain, 5 seconds after impact is nauseating...your entire world of health and happiness is jeopardized...

worst for me was during a hoops game....no one knew what was wrong with me....I was bent over, dry hacking....then hit the floor in full fetal...opponent went up for a jumper...his knee bent right into laurel and hardy....who fuggen shoots like that anyway?

evidently....gals have the same issue....altho I have to think that our boys garner more attention than the female privates...this rant (below) gives me reason to believe that the cunt punt is a form of assault....a very funny form of assault as it fuggen rhymes!

Sorority rant~~~~~~( I underlined and bolded the best part)


If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.
For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu. I've been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee Julia, I've been having so much fun with my sisters this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to fucking find you on campus to do it myself.
I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that's not fucking possible if you're going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON'T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people fucking retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore night time events. If Sigma Nu openly said "Yeah we're gonna invite Zeta over", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be post gaming at other frats, I don't give a FUCK if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire family is in that frat. YOU DON'T GO. YOU. DON'T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do fucking NOT convince other girls to leave with you.
"But Julia!", you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, "I've been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID FUCKING ASS HATS, IT FUCKING DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW FUCKING WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING UP AT SOBER FUCKING EVENTS TOO. I've not only gotten texts about people being fucking WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like "durr what's kickball?" is not fucking funny), but I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!! I don't give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A SPORTS GAME? ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND? Or are you just so fucking dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the greek community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE FUCKING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR FUCKING MATCHUP. I will fucking cunt punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a fuck if you SOR me, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU.
"Ohhh Julia, I'm now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird shit that does weird shit during the day, this following message is for you:
DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT'S EVENT.
I'm not fucking kidding. Don't go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS CHAPTER. I would rather have 40 girls that are fun, talk to boys, and not fucking awkward than 80 that are fucking faggots. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to boys I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't fucking show up unless you're going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our chapter. Seriously. I swear to fucking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight's event, I will tell you to leave even if you're sober. I'm not even kidding. Try me.
And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a fuck. Go fuck yourself.



I understand this gal just resigned from her sorority....the C PUNT was the last straw...

The idiot found his way...

back to his village....I'm back...been kinda inspired by a few of you warped followers that evidently are way more interested in watching the train wreck vs helping out a human in need....oh well....lets fire up the train and see how painful this next saga will get...


any of you look at what colleges are charging these days...? we all got totally messed up in college...drinking...other things...drinking...more of the other things...the coeds...fugg...why enter the real world....?   this new trek in life costs a shitload of cash!  and i mean a shitload...look at the college guide book....check it out....there are thousands of colleges....id say 80% are 40k and up....ez...skewls that I never knew existed actually exist....its mindboggling....really...there is tuition....room and board...books (who fuggen needs  books anymore?..more on this in a bit) and the all mighty cost of living....

Books:  I just read where the price of books has skyrocketed.....according the bureau of statistics....812% increase since 1978....wtf?  kids don't use texts books anyway...my kids don't....I see them laying around the fuggen house....same place for weeks....laptops babe...laptops!  these books are full of shit anyway....try telling your prof that we nuked Japan because your grandpa(my dad) and his 500,000 friends were ready to invade...many say 1,000,000 were needed....lets go with half a million...regardless, the Japanese would've killed as many of these men as possible before offing themselves....history books have been rewritten by the PC crowd....fugg that shit!  Im here because of fat man and tall boy....actually its little boy....but tall boy reminds me of the many 24 ounce cans of beer drunk back in the day.... I digress....

ok....sure send them to state skewl....uhhhh..believe me I was crossing my fingers....I remember picking out my HS graduation present.....pops was going to buy me a watch....not a rolex by any means...but a nice, mans bidness/dress watch...I picked the most expensive watch...not even knowing the price...and this is what my kid did to me when picking her college...picking the costliest anything is my talent....and evidently, I have passed this along to me little fuggers...first one checking in fall 2013.....twins will go 2016...im so fuggen bummed....I wanted to buy an RV and travel the USA with wifey...now ill be lucky to afford the travel channel..


College is a total waste of cash...its a four year summer camp...gawd I miss the bubble....