look away...its different for me

dose of reality people...our kids are doing what we did and doing it better...they are smarter...more equipped...better staffed...funded...you think we know this....everyone says it....but do you really know it...do you look away and tell yourself....NAH...rainbows and glitter???

we all know people that have found religion... im getting back into an  understanding of religion...Jesus was an awesome fella regardless if he is the SOG...this world needs more JESUS's or Jesuses...or Multiple Jesus like people...I'm dumbfounded though by the born agains....Born agains are no different than the parents described above....the rainbow and glitter crowd.....they had their fun but now shame those that do or did exactly what they did...party party, jesus, bible study, tell all how bad party party is....cycles go in circles so maybe "party party" will happen again one day...

Huge dose of these parents...the denial parents...the lookaway crowd...this weekend....as my kid grows up, I know whats happening...I think its awesome actually...I embrace this...we guide and we consult....we hug and we discuss....you can only do so much....we don't enable, MUCH...I find the growing up process fascinating...I embrace it...

 I got the look this weekend....the look from parents....all it took to get the "look" was a short conversation with a parent regarding some missing booze (vodka) from our house...kids dig the clear stuff....it looks like water...who knew?...wish I would've thought about that back in our day....but we didn't have bottled water...we had thermoses...I digress.....this conversation took place very innocently....all we wanted to do was alert said parent that the kids are drinking..period...end of story....not that their kid is drinking...we found some empty vodka bottles in our storage room...that's it...I usually throw my empties under my bed, so it wasn't me....this happened two years ago...this parent (mom) struck us from the "record."   we were in grownup time out....sentenced for eternity...

We took the bullet...I don't give two fucks about it.... I don't need this crap....people like this aren't allowed in my camp anyway...fake phony frauds.....beat it!  no more interaction with this group...so the fugg what!!!??? now I don't have to miss my shows for a cocktail party with muffy and biff!

speaking of shows:

duck dynasty
hardcore pawn
defiance
pawn stars
overhauling
sons of guns

are way better than hanging with the lookaway retards!

cowboys and aliens...ancient aliens...

cowboys and aliens....good movie...entertaining....those poor primitive cowboy bastards had to deal with these brutal aliens...how they won that battle back then with primitive weaponry is beyond me..

watched a great show last night on history channel....ancient aliens....basically this show splains just about everything to me....pyramids....the dome of the rock....all these crazy ass structures that were built long ago....no way man did this shit....religion and the gods are basically explained as a close encounter of the third kind......thats what the show told me....

also, every encounter that the profits had were of alien nature...makes sense...an alien would come down to our planet...give a message to one of these bastards...and the deed was done...these aliens were all glowing and their vessel was no doubt covered in multiple colors of light....kinda of like a las vegas sign landing near you....

this week has been perplexing for me...on monday i saw a new show..."curiosity"....the pilot was all about how the universe began....stephen hawking explained....basically said that we humans are a mistake....that something kinda small went wrong during the big bang...big bang...i like that...if yo gunna bang, make it big yo... and we evolved into this shit...blew my mind....it was cool...

so with these aliens telling our human ancestry what to do and how to build shit....and hawking telling us that we are a mistake....i feel like partying! wtf are we so stressed out about? im one fat mistake amongst billions like me....drinks are on me!

XXX...best week of my life!

fitting that sb XXX was the TIME OF MY LIFE! XXX (hot sexy...titty!)...thats 30...i was 30...it was 15 fuggen years ago....i maxed out! nothing beats it...why? here's my list..

1. XXX was in ptown....phoenix...cowboys v steelers ( stillers) ...hate both of those teams...but it didnt matter..ptown kicks ass....weather is awesome...golf golf golf! ptown golf rules and we played a bunch o golf!

2. the phoenix open was taking place at the same time the town was hosting the superbowl...

ok thats why...

right...thats why it was the best week of my life right?

let me dive in a little more..

due to family connections...lets face it ...i married right period...i admit it...

the family connections allowed me to fuggen have the best time of my 45 years on this planet...

wifey and i had vip passes to the commissioners party....the party of all parties....this was where thousands and thousands of revelers and nfl players (current and past) gathered for food and frolick....i was a kid in the candy store...not only that...we were the TITS that night...we got to eat in the VIP area....tables set up for each team....sat right in between the cowboy table and the stiller table....met the coaches of both teams...cool eh...just fuggen awesome! also got to meet freddie b and jimmy plunkett ..timmy brown...(raider greats).....warren moon...lynn swann...the list goes on and on! food was so great...booze flowin....heaven! we were in the section where everyone else was looking in to....ha...beat it peasants...

next night wifey and i go to the owners party....this was a very mellow gathering of the nfl owners, family, and select friends....very small gathering at a very nice hotel ....food...booze...first class....we were the second party to arrive....the first one there was MR AL FUGGEN DAVIS....owner of my beloved OAKLAND RAIDER FOOTBALL TEAM.... the man...the crazy mutha fugger...im stoked....i go directly to al and introduce myself...he gave me about 15 minutes...cool eh...? al was wearing a white track suit...at a fuggen party...his glasses were on a thick gold chain...couldnt believe it...

so what did we talk about...

ME: "uh mr davis, im a big fan" i go into some detail how ive been a raider fan forever and i love the s and b...i go into how we got screwed in kansas city ( wifey and i were there) that season...

MR DAVIS: "uh yes ..that was a tough one.....say, next time we are in kc, let me know...and ill arrange it so you and the misses can come up to my box and look around for a bit...then you'll have to go back to your seats..."

uh wtf!!!??? this guy is rude..but i just went with it...he is al davis...

wifey is pregnant with our twin boys at this time....and i wanted to name one of the boys "RAIDER" ...so wifey tells AL this...

AL: "uhhh if you name one of your kids there "raider" i will see to it that he is outfitted with rayduh (al is from Brooklyn ny) gear his entire life...here is my personal assistants card...send here the birth cert and its a done deal.." i pussed out...wifey said i could name the boy raider and i choked...so no gear....fuggen idiot...im so weak

ok cool....AL just erased the letdown i just had with his snobby.."come up to my box and have a look" bullshit...im happy...

so it kind of ended there as AL began mumbling (i think he said "commitment to excellence...and just win baby...over and over again...or perhaps i was drunk) and i could tell he was tiring of my fatass...so we went to the bar...and had a great evening meeting all the other owners and family etal...

the next day: Phoenix open...we had the greatest set up there...a private tent on 18 green....right there....we got there early and the bloody Marys were going down like water....we got so fuggen wasted...the girls attending this golf tourney were so fuggen hot....it was absolutely amazing....my head was on swivel...wifey wasnt happy....i think i told her to start checkin out the hot golfers, when stadler was coming up the hill to 18 green....fat fuggen walrus!

the game: superbowl XXX (hahahaha) was an awesome game....of course we had vip ticks to the tailgate party...gap band.....you drop a bomb on me baby! i was in heaven...i love those fellas...HS favorite....we ate..drank...we were all lubed up ready for the game..cool and the gang there too....and i think midnight star....NO PARKING BABY>>>no parking on DANCE FLO!

our seats were fuggen kickass....we were right on the FIVE OH! i studied it for about 20 minutes....lining up my eye like i was sighting a rifle....yup 50 fuggen yardline! not only that...we were front row loge....no one to stand up in front of you....these were the best seats i have ever sat in period! who was sitting next to me....MEAN FUGGEN JOE GREENE....stiller great...had him sign my ticket stub...

the game was kickass...cowboys won a tight one....looked to be going to OT when the steeler qb threw it right to larry someone..(this larry fella was signed to the raiders the next season and was a total flop...thanks AL) and he ran it in for the closer....

game over...we proceeded to our car...oh yeah...VIP parking...we were out of there in minutes...

nothing ..and i mean nothing will even come close to that week.....movie star like treatment...

many would enjoy this type of treatment every week/day/year...i probably would pass on that...it was so fuggen outstanding that if it were to occur all the time...youd get sick of it...i would...and the memory of that week wouldnt be a memory at all....

BUILT RULZ!!!!

the wonders of facebook

so awhile ago i befriended Playboy on Facebook, much to the chagrin of my jesus freak zealot family member....i really feel that the big J himself would enjoy the magazine...but i digress...

so on my facebook page i see that Playboy is promoting an AXE contest...the text went as follows:

"The benefits of having clean balls are self evident. But who knew a shiny, fresh smelling set of man-spheres could bring you a trip to a college football bowl game of your choice in jan 2012

"the ballsiest college party ever" competition...!"

wowsers!

shit!!!! C on a fuggen bike (CFB)...too bad this contest wasnt held back in my day....all of our parties were of sausage nature.....a regular man-sphere smorgasbord! we were basecamp for man-spheres! ...think the gals were scared of us...who knows....?we would be college football bowl game bound!

clean your spheres! thats my new mantra!