vegas baby!

heavens to betsy....ive been ignoring saundoggy like i do when wifey wants me to snuggle...been too long...i thank built for the reminder...

well...i got back from vegas this monday....note to self...for the 10th fuggen time....5 days in vegas is 2 days too long...i never learn...what a fuggen blast tho...

golf with the greatest guys on the planet....greatest food man can eat...a fluffy as all get up bed...8 hours of puking...started around 10 pm thursday night....every 15 minutes...until 530 am....the noise i make when i puke cant be explained...by the time it got to 2am, there was nothing left to puke....except this yellowish viscous material that started eating a hole through the porcelin...evidently, i caught a bug er something....i laid there wishing for death...it was sad....wifey was sleeping...no need to worry about me wanting to leap out of the window...51 stories high....but all is well...sleep tight...dont let the puking, dying, bedbugs bite...

got thru the near death experience....golf that am was at 1130...after zero sleep....the dog shoots a cool 75 on a titty track! beware the sick athlete...i guess...that night, we saw the show "jersey boys"....kickass show....enjoyed it very much!

me birthday was on saturday and i got to celebrate with 18 holes of awesome golf....and a dinner on top of the rio resort...the view was awesome....the company , just as good as the view...then onto the pleasure pit....the pit is where we played poker at the planet hollywood....while playing, one gets to look up and see the most beautiful women on this planet dance ...wowsers....chubville!  didnt hurt that i drew a straight flush and profited about 700 bucks on one hand....we were all making money that night....huge....it was too good to be true...and the ladies....we were making some serious noise after every pay out...man that was fun...pleasure pit satnite!  a new tradition created...!

sunday is sportsbook day....starts at 10am...ends 8:30 pm....all day....drinking one bloody after the next....then onto makes....had pizza delivered....bet on every game....won more than i lost...fuggen raiders shit the bed...i just really dont like them sometimes....frowny face...

monday is rest and relax day....detox day....whatever...didnt work...as ive been sick all week with the squirts....all week...like a fuggen 711 slushy machine...called doc and he wanted a sample...i stopped him there and told him id gut it out....nfw im sampling this shit...im courtesy flushing every 5 seconds as it is...

well...im back so ill be seeing you later...

thangsgiving...

my boyhood neighbor buddy would always say "thangs" instead of THANKS!

i heard a fella say "warsh" last weekend...no "r" in the word wash...

i know peeps that pronounce the word "roof"....ruff

i live in the state of missouri....not missoura...

some things im THANKful for:

• females...i love women..they look nice to me...at least the nice looking ones...
• football...the best ever sport played on our planet
• email and text...cuz i dont have to talk to assholes
• mondays...kids are in school
• tuesdays thru fridays....see "mondays"
• chris farley...everytime i see his picture or one of his skits, im dying from laughter
• health...im always in pain so fugg that one..i take it back
• food...i love eating
• makers....i love drinking
• oakland raiders...i love them..not like im going to marry them kinda thing
• pizza...pizza is not a food, its a drug...the best fuggen drug ever
• knives...nothing like a cool knife in your pocket
• mizuno...best golf irons ever engineered...i never settle
• friends...i have the best..nothing compares to this lot of humans
• family...wifey is supercool, the kids are alright
• jared...hopefully his diet plan will win me big cash
• skoal...dipping is awesome
• guns...i love guns...they are cool and im packin
• squash...greatest game to play...u sweat bullets while playing a chess game...must be fit and smart..and have heart...thats why i suck at it...
• steam room...give me steam or give me death
• golf...golf is my religion...i love going to my church
• truck...my truck is awesome
• 106 inches of hd heaven...nuff said

and thats that..dont think i missed anything..
DISCLOSURE:::   this list is in no particular order

this is so dang perfect...splains everything...

raiders v sparky

thursday night footy on the NFL channel.....i wont watch....or maybe ill tune in to see the scheduled train wreck....isnt this why people attend a car race...?  or a hockey game?  you want to see the wreck...the fights...the blood...

many attended the ye ole public lynchings....they obviously wanted to see a neck breaking....the sheer horror of scheduled brutality is worth a look see eh?

the raiders cant stop the run....they havent been able to stop the run going on 20 years now....they make for that by their fuggen race to top the league in penalties....

pictured is the raider team bus parked outside Qualcomm stadium..

chokeland fuggers!

my raiders suck again...they cant beat teams that suck even worse than they suck...they will break the nfl penalty record....once again....because these idiots that put on the silver and black uni think they are above the law...they look up at the sorry assclown fans that dress up in darth vader costumes, and think they can tear an opposing players helmet off...or punch their opponent in the nuts...or blast away at a runner 5 seconds after the fuggen whistle blows...

these assclowns really believe they are pirates....no laws for them...meanwhile, joe official makes rain with their flags....every fuggen play....the raids dont believe in first and 10....they rather have it first and 20....more challenging....their defense stops the opposing offense....oh its 4th down...punt...right???  NOT SO FAST you fuggen assclowns!  its first down because your convict d tackle just punched some unsuspecting opponent in the fuggen groin...thanks mate!

their crowd...the black hole crowd...they spend hours upon hours dressing up for a fuggen football game...they look like idiots...is this supposed to make the other team scared?  so stupid....what a waste of paint...and chains...and spikes...and whatever...

im so sick of being a fan of this team....

but i will continue to be a fan because they are unfortunately in my blood.....they are all i know...im cursed and unhappy....i hate because of these dicks!

so pissed...so mad...so fuggen what!

no way possible....

that these starbucks employees can be so damn perky all the fuggen time....no way....in the am...get my coffee and its.."hey scotty...the usual grande coffee in a venti cup???!!!"   barf!

these peeps are on happy pills....double xanax venti whip whip espresso on the double....


its maddening really....and so fake....why?

it creates a moment of reflection for me....after leaving bux...i think to myself...How come im so miserable and these cats are always so dang perky?  does serving the masses caffein do this ones soul?  i know one thing, after me coffee goes down the pipe...Im feeling way better...for just a bit.....and so it goes...conclusion....these sbux peeps are drinking the corporate ink...they are all wired all the time....

i once worked in a deli...great job...i got to eat whatever i wanted....back then it didnt matter much, cuz i burned it off....i created some sangys that would make shaggy and scooby doo jealous....these were world class creations...no doubt these starbucks peeps are creating super coffee concoctions that make them too fuggen annoying...i hate that they are so dang happy....sickens me...

i go this way...

the other day...in a meeting...with a rich indian fellow...dot head...not a scalper...this fella was smug...he kept saying that living in peace and harmony beats being wealthy...all while bragging about his immense portfolio of real estate...the great deals...the cash...

he went on to say that he respects bill gates...see gates is giving away all of his wealth...he respects warren buffet...i guess he too is giving away his wealth....i doubt that all of it will go..im sure mrs gates and children..grand children...great grand children...etc etc.. will not  live in a van down by the river...

then this fellow went on to say that gates and buffet didnt rob, steal or cheat anyone in order to be the richest two bastards on our planet...rrrrrriiiiiiite??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  GATES STOLE..he stole his operating system from xerox..he stole from apple....buffet rapes the market with every move he makes...buffet can move world markets by farting...you cant be that rich without stealing...its impossible!...this guy stole too...he is shaky...has a bad reputation...fuggen smelled too...

then this dot head went on to say he hates republicans....thats when i got angry...on the inside...couldnt show this because this fugger might buy 25 million bucks worth of re from my client...he said that all repubs are shit...and his party should rule the planet...im not about to get into any political debate with him...i dont want get political on me blog either....so i will not...but who says this?  even if you mean it...never introduce your political beliefs when you are in a business meeting...and dont bring up religion either....he told us he was an agnostic...what an idiot...

this smug fugger pissed me off...because he was a complete fuggen phony...shocker...a feel good do gooder that doesnt do shit for anyone except himself....all i heard from him was about the good work of the gates foundation....well fella, wtf do you do for people in need?  all i heard from him was "i travel here...i have properties here...im awesome!...india rules...india will take over the world..."  wft...india sucksass...it smells and their caste system is probably the worst on our planet....a close rival is our caste system of govt employees vs us bidnessmen....

this got me thinking....if i was to win the lotto or score huge by screwing over another human...id take the fuggen money and run....id buy meself a nice abode somewhere on a great golf course and tell the world to fugg off....id help my family, the deserving ones....and thats that....thats where i stand...im not going to leave my riches to some crap foundation....fugg that! 

thats where i stand...i dont need to feel good for anyone or anything...call me short sided and ignorant, but at least you know where i stand!

if this fugger buys this crap im selling him....im taking my huge commission check and wave in his pompous face while shouting out "HERMAN CAIN FOR POTUS!"

fugg that fake!