dont fugga parrot!

whacked Wednesday...

ive assembled some funny shit and thought id share....

top article + bottom article = a fuggen party!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2137297/Munich-nymphomaniac-Second-victim-weeping-street.html

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http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/05/01/tagblogsfindlawcom2012-legallyweird-idUS210841088720120501



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EQUALS...........................................................PARTY!  and sore bits and pieces

work it parents....it means so much....TO YOU!

wifey and i are knee deep in the shit...the political shit...kids shit...

we dont wine and dine coaches so junior gets to start...
we dont call the coach...
we dont work the pick up line..i stay in my truck and wait for my kids to find my ass
we dont volunteer for nothing...we pay out our collective asses for our 3 money withdrawers to attend prep skewl

i heard a story yesterday....most likely it is true...parents flying coach out on  their private jet to their place in socal...wine and dine....and junior is starting....nice lesson there eh?

we cant offer much....maybe a short weekend at the lake of the ozarks...stay at my friends 1970s throwback condo...bad fishing...bad food...perhaps a round or two of great gof...the boys can then make the B team....oh wait, they are already there...

i refuse to play this game...my plane isnt going anywhere for anyone except for me...in my dreams...actually i dont need a fuggen plane to fly...in my dreams....its three steps and a jump and im off....awesomeness!

i told my sons to work their asses off this coming summer....hit the weights and pound the amino acids...eat like crazy....become a beast..they are working hard and they are getting results...FUGGEN FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!...dad aint gunna pucker and kiss no ones sphinctor..

i sit and watch as these parasite parents whore their way around and im fuggen sick of it....i feel strongly that someone needs to go off the reservation and make a statement...

the kids arent learning shit....the parents look at their kids as fuggen trophies....its sickening...i kinda knew this shit was going on back in the day...why else would mickey labinsky make the A soccer team?  his dad bought the team new Adidas uniforms...i saw mr labinsky talking to coach during tryouts...my dad never...ever watched my practices...tryouts...why would he?  he knew that his son was going to bust his ass...and he knew his boy was talented beyond the norm...i was a very good soccer player back in the day...didnt make the A team that year tho...i was crushed...coach had no explanation...started for this team for 3 years...traveled...won cups...i was the sweeper...no one got by me...

that was my last year of soccer....8th grade...i gutted it out on the B team... started for the A team during travel tourneys....got to wear those new Adidas unis thanks to mr labinsky....

parents can really fugg things up for their kids....and while doing so, there is always collateral damage...

golf tourney...wow im good...

i suck at this blog thing...i get all into it and then disappear...like a fart in the wind..

just now, my retarded brain just told me to make an entry....so i do this now..

no idea what to write about..

golf season is upon us...love the game....its greatness on wheels..

entered a scratch medal play tourney last weekend at one of me fav "tracks"...GATEWAY NATIONAL GOLF LINKS...

i was the aarp guy in the 4some...these kids are fuggen awesome...they kill the ball and they are fearless....guess what?  so is the dog!  i crushed it all day...didnt miss one drive....take that you young fag!  i had nothing in common with these gents...fuggers were about half my age....what do you talk about....?  "yeah man, i went to the WHO concert in 79....they fuggen rocked it!"

one of our group....tony....he won the tourney....shot a cool 71...yours truly shot a 78...good enough  for 5th place and a "thanks for playing today!"...tony was cool...he liked the way i drew the ball...thats enough for me to like a guy....

the other two fellas, im horrible with names so i couldnt tell you their name if my life depended on it, left quickly....pooof they gone!...they didnt play so well....scratch golfers but i guess the pressure got to them....or maybe it was me..." hey guys, you playing golf today?  this will be a fun time eh?" one fella, i nicknamed "redass."  this guy never fuggen smiled and walked like he had poison ivy in his crack....this guy wouldnt smile if he won the mega millions....what gives...? 

i had bad gas that day and i took it to the course with me....there is only so many times you can blame your output on the east side aroma...pretty much sure that they knew it was coming from the geritol guy...the fella with the white hair and walked with a limp...i did look great tho...always do when i golf....tommy b silk pants...lacoste golf shirt with pocket (for me dip can)....mizuno white golf hat...not wearing visors much anymore....apparently im balding because me head gets burnt now...fuggen old guy....

I played well....one double booger...finished with a bird...lots of pars...several boogers...struck it well....nice big ole draw that caught the fancy of me mates....love to bend it...just makes the game more fun....


oh well....gateway is having a match play tourney in a couple of weeks...my luck, ill  have to spend 5 hours with redass....

been too long..again...RSR, an explaination

i guess im lazy...or out of ideas...

lots of funny things have happened since my last post....but i just dont want to write about it much anymore...

lots of people owe me money....and that has me down

i will say this tho....beware of the RSR....unless you are with a hot member of the opposite sex....i guess its ok if you are a homosexual...nothing wrong with that...

the RSR is the Reverse Shoulder Ride....think about it as an "in your face 69"


this term came up with my thread fellas...im in an email thread that consists of 12 of the coolest dudes on earth....we all went to college together...sigma chis....and we are in constant communication almost daily...for many years....about 15 plus probably...

 the RSR came up as i was telling all that 2 of our fellow threaders were probably giving each other a  reverse shoulder ride while celebrating the Rugby 7s world championships in hong kong....it just came out.... humor was missed by many ....it took awhile to regurgitate the beauty of my term...and when it was finally interpreted....well it was a funny moment...

just defined it on urban dictionary....awaiting for editor approval.....

the RSR....get your junk out of my face!

hide! duck!

i was just out back hitting 7 irons into the pasture...hitting em pure...as usual...one got away from me tho....badly...this hook had a hook....no way a ball should go where this one was going...impossible!...it was well struck tho...i was calling for the ball to get down!  get down you fuggen bastid!  why you ask?  well...traffic....thats why...

i got lucky...as the vehicle my ball struck was a tow truck...impact was on the side...perhaps the wheel...it was loud enough for me to hear ...about 175 yards away...thats how far i hit a 7...im awesome...

i immediately ran inside...hide!  i went to the front of the house ...pulled the curtains back a wee bit...peeked out the window of my dining room...hoping that said tow truck wasnt going to hang a u eee...it didnt...whew!  im glad it wasnt a lexus or a bently or a mercedes....bmw...out of our range rover... etal...


this got me remembering back to a time...back in the day....memorial...houston texas....out with SD that night...in his ford bronco...the big boy....the oj bronco...he was speeding through a our friends neighborhood and well....johnny fuggen law put on his bubble gum lights...shit!  we are busted...!  our buddy told SD to lose him...so SD listened and well...the chase was on...our buddy to SD..."turn here...left...turn here right...i mean left,,,!"  well SD went right ..and we were dead ended...SD pulls into a driveway...proceeded to tell us..."HIDE....DUCK!"

so we ducked...just like a kid playing hide n seek by covering their eyes...you cant see them so they cant see you....kids are stupid...just like the brave pilots in the movie independence day...will smith and jeff goldblum...they put the window shield down as they downloaded the virus into the mothership...the alien pressed a button and the shield went up...they proceeded to HIDE! DUCK!

luckily....johnny fuggen law was a neighborhood constable....not a full fledged houston texas badass...

flashlight getting nearer...we were fugged!  we were gigling like little girls too....how does one not laugh...?

this barny fife fella let us go...couldnt believe it...i think he saw who SD was and gave us a pass...


so im hitting 7 irons and it reminds me of hide! DUCK!  im ready for the golf season..im purey mcpurington!