i kid you not...

wifey just called me and well....awnys replacement phone broke...evidently, the crystal just broke...he didnt drop it...no one hit him...just broke...like magic..after 1 hour of activation....it broke...

shoot me

4th cell phone

so ferf whacked awny with the vacuum pole and broke his celly....shattered awnys smart fone....hurray!!! another claim! that be number 4 in 30 days...

awnys on number 2...his first was swimming pool bound

ferf left his at the kc airport

syd dropped hers in her toilet....how the fugg does that happen?

so it cost 100 bucks every time we get a phone replaced...they send you a refurbished fone which means it was someone elses piece of shit before..perfect..

im not buying this one tho...each bubba has to pay me 50 bucks for this fone.....why u might be asking? well...im initiating the instigator rule ala the NHL....this fone broke due to provocation from the instigator..in this case...awny....see awny shoved ferf and ferf retaliated with a crack of the vacuum tube...i guess it was handy...weapon user ferf is...use your fist man..come on......if awny didnt shove him, then ferf wouldnt have cracked him one...

and so it goes....both are bummed...

top 5 biggest pains in the ass....getting a new cell phone...it takes forever to deactivate.....activate...make sure your fuggen contacts get transferred..im talking 100s of man hours dealing with some dot head in india...

and its all our faults....because we need to know where jr is all the fuggen time...screw that shit...i say toss the fones away...save your cash, and let jr walkabout wherever...more than half the time the fugger doesnt even have his phone... doesnt answer...or forgets to plug the fugger in...!

ive had it...again!

7am dentist appointment

bubbas dentist appointment sked for 7 am this am...since the recession, we have moved to out tenants dentist practice....makes sense...got to feed who feeds you right? plus our last dentist was a fuggen robber....and he wouldnt deal when i came to him with a more "market" proposal.....idiot....plus he smoked and had excessive nose hair....wtf...trim that!!! plus the dude always tried to hook up his dork son with me daughter...weird shit....just clean my teef and overbill me asshole!

guess who made the 7 am monday am appointment?...ill give u a hint.....IT WASNT ME!!!! so wifey tells me over the weekend that i have to get two 13 year old giant hibernating bears for a 30 minute trip...yes 30 minutes as she is our only dentist and she practices at our furthest away property.... to get their fuggen teef cleaned....drills...suction....flouride....kids love that shit right?

presently, im a fuggen zombie....ive powered thru 2 sbux coffees....strong tea...and all i have to show for it is droopy eyes and a sore asshole....i feel bad for the dentist office....by now HAZMAT is probably there in their yellow suits...eradicating the hazardous waste i left them....sorry!

august just started and it already sucks!!!!

you wouldnt believe what i saw this am...

got behind a big yellow bus...long bus...not the short version.....the short one is in order for the parent that i saw tho...

its raining..as if that mattered....and as usual...parents suv's were all lined at the bus stop...waiting for big yeller...

bus stops...kids get out of suv...run to bus...it is raining so at least it sped things up..usually these fat kids saunter up....waddle up...take their fuggen time....

another stop...same fuggen thing...

then....the one stop that beats ALL!...this one stop epitomizes everything that is wrong in our werld...one suv at this stop...a white (out of our) range rover sport...is parked about 10 yards from the street corner...the bus stops...and instead of jr getting out and running to big yeller....the fuggen rover pulls up to bus door...inches away from bus door...when jr gets out and enters ...the kid probably had to walk 2 ft total...out of car...2 side steps...and off to skewl you go...

i was fuggen crying...this was the ultimate in curb service...

can u imagine the life this fuggen kid must live? i feel sorry for these little fuggers...retard parents!!!!