mp59s

i fuggen did it....bought em...im stoked...2 weeks, they will be in me sack...unfortunately, in 2 weeks, we could have snow on the ground...the way weather is around here...

im a golf club hoarder...its a sickness really...i need the newest and best stuff....only for golf tho....i can care less about my vehicle....altho big d kicks ass and it is a super cool awesome pickem up truck...

i couldnt trade in my 58s...they are so beautiful....no way i can give them up.....now this is fuggen weirdyville....separation anxiety from golf irons...the irons im replacing....whats wrong with me...

i have 4 putters too....i keep going back to the 20 year old tuttle....drivers out the ass....dont have too many extra 3 woods tho...there is no replacing my 3 wood i carry...thing is a weapon...so titty!

i blame this on the 5 golf mags i get in the mail....these mags are gifts from SD and its cruel...he knows i dig golf shit and yet continues to feed me these mag subscriptions....its his fault....i blame him and him only....the 59s were in last months golf digest...the centerfold.....of course they got top billing because they are mizunos and there is no peer....mizuno makes the nicest looking/feeling iron in the bidness...

mizunos are the pile of cocaine to coke addicts....mizunos are the playboy playmate to mr heffner...so the 5 golf mags i get are feeding my habit...sad really...

gawd fugg cfb! im a junkie...! i never settle!

me new favorite place on earth...

hmmmm.....

some love the country...

some love the grand canyon...

some love the beach....

me...i love GOLFSMITH!

its super cool...been there just about every day since they opened up...first store in stl...

i just go and look...hit some balls..they have the best indoor range...huge computerized monitors...state of the art.....putt around their huge , sweet, beautiful green....i bought a mizuno hat...got a couple of sticks regripped...

i want to vacation at golfsmith...

fuggen heaven!!!!

soak, wipe, clean...DORK!

its masters week and well....its thursday pm so the MASTERS has begun....i enjoy this like no other time of the year....cepting for jim nantz....

every thursday masters night, i grab my sack and stick(s) and balls and give them a thorough cleaning...soak....wipe...clean...

its amazing the shit i find in me golf sack....found two free foursome vouchers that expired 2 years ago...zoinks...old gum is the worst..2 year old cliff bar...still feels soft...so i keep it in there....old gum is fuggen gross....so is a crusty, smelly pair o socks..wtf are those doin in there...? no clue...i just called over a bubba and stuck em in under his nose...ahhhh fatherhood...

i go thru my sack with keen due diligence....make sure i have all me tees, ball marks, balls, golf buddy (gps) needs too be fully charged...Bushnell range finder (fuggen kickass piece of titty quip)..that bad boy shoots a laser to its target....gives me the perfect yardage so i can fugg up knowing how much i fugged my shot up...range finder says 175 to the pin...on the nuts...and how will that help my fat ass? like i can really dial it down that precisely....no fuggen chance...but its kickass...and i use it..because i can and want to....

my irons are so fuggen sweet... got two sets of beauties because i wanted them....mizuno mp58s and mp 53s...now i have more drama in my life...which fuggen set o beauties do i use? it shouldnt be like this...but it is...cuz im a fuggen rehtard mess....

while trekking downstairs to get me lappy...i saw me ole callaway tuttle putter...all alone in the corner...it hasnt been in me sack for 4 putters ago..so what do i do....i stick my ole putter in me sack...shaft and all...

playing tomorrow...i play every masters friday....ok...i play every friday i can...do i use tuttle or the ghost...i play around with my putter way too much...

while doing this, i watch the masters replay....

satans greenspace

driving range...instead of eating lunch..

this is the most evil of places...especially if youre retarded enough to order up a FAMILY sized bucket o rocks...144 balls.....why the fugg did i do this? ill tell you why....ima dumbass..

the first 20 were pure...then what...? i look down at the 124 remaining pieces of shit and well....i have to hit them...shank...oh shit...shank...wtf!!!? rinse and repeat....a wise man would leave them there for another poor sap to hack at...but no...im too cheap to let them be....so i continue to fail...and fail...again and again...over and over again...

problem is...i cant stop....i need to figure it out...and i did...i wasnt turning...so i got it back...by then, i have about 30 balls left...feeling good again, i need to finish in style....then it happens again...shank!...omfgsmntf! (oh my gawd stomp me nuts to flatness)...

shankapotomus...hoselenfeffer...shankenstein...shawshank redemption...king longshanks...shankyouverylittle...happy shanksgiving...shankephant...hoselandgrettel...

i race home...i need to figure this out....so i pull out me 9 iron and throw some rocks down and hit 3 beauties in me back yard...ok..im cured...

but fuggen a...i have that stanky shitty taste in me mouth..."where'd that cat go?" "what cat?" "the cat that shit in me mouth!" thats the taste i have now..

ima fuggen mess...i have two sets of sweet mizuno irons...58s are blade like...53s are more forgiving...i take me 58s out to the range because i shot a 77 with me 53s and im thinking i can go back to me blades and work the ball a little more...well that experiment failed... went back to me 53s in the back yard and viola! i think it was the lack of turn tho...so is it the sticks or the turn...the quip or the deliverer?

wont know until i play again....cuz i ait going back to satans spawning area again!

fuggen range blows ass...the range has almost cost me me marriage many times over....i know i need to stay away...but like crack to the crack addict...i go back...fuggen werld we live in...