"chief" "guy" "ace" "sport"

i was called GUY today and well.....any one that calls you that should be smashed ballside by a sledgehammer..

checking the douche bag dictionary:

Chief

-noun

1. a word used by a total douche bag uses to point out the leader of people.

"hey chief! what do you say about having some brandy in the hearth room after some snooker?"

2. boss or leader

"hey chief! what do you say we go out to the clubs after we dump these hookers after having some brandy in the hearth room after some snooker?"

Guy

-noun

1. a boy, man or fellow...douche bags use this when demanding a service...

"hey guy, why dont you bring my car out front after me and the misses sip on some brandy in the hearth room after some snooker!"

Ace

-noun

1. douche bag word that replaces the word "stud" "stallion"

"wow ace! you really scored with those 3 girls after sipping on the brandy in the hearth room after shooting snooker!"

Sport

-noun

1. a noun, usually stated by a sweater vest wearing, great Gatsby looking, total d bag to replace someones.... in the highest of demographics... real name....

"hey sport, looking good...after driving my bentley to the country club and playing 18 and then driving my bentley to the squash club and playing a match, why dont we talk about all of our great financial accomplishments and how we screwed people out of all their savings in our ponzi scheme while sipping brandy in the hearth room after shooting snooker?"

i hate your kids

you ever get that "look" from other parents? the look of "oh dont you think my kid is so cute" as the little fugger is kicking you in the shins...the same shin you just so happen to have shingles on. i know , dont end a sentence with a preposition...whatever..

people generally suck...and they create even more suckier kids by being sucky parents. i hate that "look!".... everyone gets the "look." it absolutely kills me. you walk by a family...mom and dad look at you... then look at their angels...then look at you hoping you are looking at their angels.. "look how cute my brood is...arent they special?" i get this everyday and it needs to end... i dont care about your kids. i dont like your kids...i hate your kids...(hate is a strong word..but it matches my title line)

you ever have a little kid punch you in the nuts? we all have...and dad is there laughing..."hey..great punch jr..im so proud" happened several times to me..kid just pops you an uppercut directly to the ballsack...
what do you do? i know what i wanted to do...wanted to "ray guy" punt the little pos.

i was in branson mo this last weekend with my bro in law. .kidless...beeeeeeuuutiful...golf sat and sunday...naps...great food...stayed at a very nice hilton...the hilton was a part of Branson Landing...( if you ever go to branson, stay at this hilton, golf at branson creek and the payne stewart carse...and eat every meal ...every meal at Cantina Laredo!) a mixed use entertainment center...very very nice for branson....unfortunately the people that frequent this place dont quite fit the demo the developers had in mind...i digress...

my point is this "look" i get doesnt just come from tristan yuppie and his stepford wife...it also comes from earl dub wide and wifey....got this "look" over and over again as i walked the outdoor shopping area....got the "look" at bass pro shops...even the harley biker dad and biker beotch gave me the "look"...."look, my kids are wearing the same harley shirt dad is wearing! see! see...! im watching you to see if you are watching them cuz thats all important to me and my entire purpose!"

everyone is so proud of their kids..why?

note to public: im not watching your kids....i dont care about your kids and how cute they are..i dont care what they are wearing...i can care less about how well they sing...how many goals they score...i am watching for the uppercut to the netheregions tho...a ray guy boomer will soon follow