braces...

bubbas had a 7am orthodontist appointment this am....i overslept..and they missed it...i rescheduled..no harm no foul..

and this got me to thinkin..what the? why the?

every fuggen kid gets braces these days...you dont see a kid without em....and when you do see a kid without them, they are either getting them soon or they just got them taken off...

these bastards (braces) cost from 4 to 6 k...my kids are in the six range because they go to the fuggen taj mahal for their braces work....this place is sweet....video games...kitchenette...great magazines...awesome comfy furniture...plush carpet....peppy as all get out receptionists...best part about the ortho office is their big ole jar of wintergreen life savers....i stock up for the rainy day on those bastards...pockets a bulging...i dont care..i pay for this shit...

all of my kids have or had braces...spend out the ass for those bad boys....

the after braces stage...what a waste...one kiddo get braces off, there is a maintenance stage that includes the 1000 retainers they toss in the school garbage can...oh no worries little one, ill just fork out another 200 for another useless piece of shit plastic molding! i got it!

now a days, kids get to order up new colors....one of my boys got black bands...he looked like he needed to brush the shit out of his teeth every time i saw him...."dude, you got shit on your teeth!"

"no dad, those are my bands!"

rinse repeat...

even stranger...adults are wearing braces...theyre everywhere...wtf?..i mean youve lived your life thru adolescence...at 21 you party....soon after u get married er whatever...growing up..buying shit..and then you decide to get fuggen braces?????

never had braces...always told i had the perfect bite...my lower teeth are all snaggly...but who the fugg cares about the lower teefes?

kids ortho drives a sweet Porsche....after all is said and done, he will be driving his porsche by my new homestead...the van down by the river....maybe hell stop by and join me for some government cheese...of squeeze variety...

thats using your head....

dateline: afghanistan...former prez of that crappy pos nation died while man hugging who he thought was his pal....this pal was some guy...seems that his turban was packing heat in the form of a fuggen bomb! this swell fella detonated it at embracement time...

turban bomb? what the? whats next?...dick bombs...boobie bombs...vag bombs...

"hey there mustafa, how are the kiddos...and your dog wife duin?"

"good!!! good!!!! damn bitch dog doesnt like our cave too much ...she is getting used to her leash tho"

"well...great seeing you mate...lets have a hug"

"ok"

pow!!!!!!!

and down goes mustafa!!!!

those virgins must be something!

furkin fark!

me raids shit the bed yesterday....cfb brothers! close it!











bubbas football team performed very raider like too.....friday...up 20 zip at half.....lost 21 20...











but they are 13 years old...maybe they will learn one of lifes great lessons..."it aint over til its over"...thanks mr Berra...



what i witnessed sunday was a bunch of rich, fat, fast fuggers choke the living shit out of a for sure victory...its ok as their paycheck awaits for them in their locker....for us fans, we have to wallow in it for a week....taking shit from everyone who knows me....a colossal failure..driving around town in big d today....peeps honking....yelling "nice game!"...big d wears the shield of the once great oakland raiders..



since stats llc has been tracking shit like this, since 1993...this is the first and probably only time a team has scored touchdowns on all of their 2nd half possessions....the fuggen buttfuckboooofallo bills ...had the ball 5 fuggen times in the second half....5 fuggen tds...thats 35 fuggen points...to go along with the 3 points they struggled to get in half 1....




the only thing good that came out of yesterdays game was that it gave me a great excuse to down more makers mark....i went to bed angry but got to sleep quickly....


crap!

1-0 0-1

raiders 1-0

the most interesting man in the world 0-1

i hate losing the opener in the rm 24 fantasy football league...hate it....

lost to peter norths pole ...a porn central conference foe..by one fuggen lousy extra point!

so today my emotions are mixed...happy for my raiders, sad for the most interesting man in the world...

this is what fantasy football does to you....

all i need is more mental confusion in my life....

my brain is like a soup of mixed emotional ingredients....

so im pissed now...

and happy because me once great oakland raiders pounded the donks into oblivion!

yes!!!!

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

help me...

huge raider fan!

tonight, me raids take the field at mile high....must be tough to play in denver when youre a fat fugger....these big ole lineman have oxygen at their disposal while playing the donks...

i have to stay up late to watch this one....espn has two games tonite...and they stuck the minor league teams on the night shift...crap!


i predict that my team wins this one....the raiders will run the ball and the donk defenders wont be able to stop them.....but something tells me that the raiders offensive coordinator will try to outsmart the donkos and go all pass silly on their asses....they do this and we will get chopped!


my fantasy footy team is a slightly average squad....i wasted about 10 makers on them while watching my ipad update the live scoring throughout the entire day....

being a fan of a team is hard....you feel so great when they win....when they lose, all hell breaks out and you feel like a steaming turd...

there can be only one winner....

go raiders!

draft night!

tonight is my fantasy footy draft! i cant stop thinking about it...so stoked to put my defending championship team together...







team name: "the most interesting man in the world"

room 24

porn central division...

goal is to sweep peter norths pole





at 8 pm central time....you will feel the earth shake as i assemble the greatness!..

looks like adult tag is on!

the sheriff came to me office...me other office....and had a subpoena for me...apparently they want me to answer more questions because the ass probing they did on me several months back, didnt go far enough...

bastards...i fought the law and the law won!

good news...its not of criminal nature....quite the contrary actually...its a boring condemnation lawsuit...basically little old us are fighting city hall....and city hall is getting their asses kicked!

so...now i play the ultimate game of TAG...its a rush dodging the law...ill tell my little space invaders to hunker down this evening....do not answer door...sasha will fuggen love taking a nip out of barney fifes ass...watch em run!...sick balls sasha!

they will eventually get to me....they always do....

these fuggers are assholes....this city basically took away an extremely important part of our property....a fuggen curb cut...i guess they feel as tho getting in and out...with ease... of a commercial strip center isnt very important...we'll eventually win, but the costs of our victory will be a new pool and a mercedes for each of our attorneys...guess you can fight city hall...

so tonight it starts....i cant wait to dodge this fuggen guy....game on barney!