im back...

went to my niece's wedding in boulder....boulder rules...

played some golf....had the shanks...AGAIN....didnt figure it out in time so i had a miserable time golfing while in colo.....kids and wifey hate me....when golf goes bad for me, its like a bad disease for all whom are near...

in my absence, the economy hasnt gotten any better....the lawyers are busy tho, and i guess thats good for them.....

SD comin in town for some golf....im hope, for his sake, that im cured of the evil disease...

cancelled a trip to sand hills and just found out that by me cancelling, i ruined the trip for the others planning on going.....guess i was the magic number....fugget....i aint going to middle dumbfuck NE to shankapotomus all over the place....if this happened....id probably be wanted for assault....or worse...

still busy making friends....

found out that another key tenant is vacating....this tenant is so key! and leases space that will be the shits to relet.....i mean the shits...stoked about that....

later

spawn of schleprock

thats me ...

i get the opportunity to play bellerive cc this am...and i get the shanks...i address the ball and have no idea how to swing...and when i did...hosel rocket....straight right...chinese laterals...the shanks....the absolute worst thing to happen to a golfer happened to me over and over and over again...sad really...cuz i was on fire...playing well...scoring well...excited about playing....and now ima mess...

i went/walked away from the course after 5 holes and i was steaming...the ultimate walk of shame....couldnt blame it on my back either....i go home and plop a couple of balls down in me backy and full blown pured em both...sweet spot...high draw...what the fuck!???? how does this happen...? i go back to my desk...tidy up some things....and go outside for two more hits....and bammo! perfect yet again...

at this time ima complete mess because i shouldve been making the turn at bellerive....

so i get the keen idea to make something happen for me today...i text sheppy for a squash game at lunchtime....word gets around quick at the MAC...and word has it that i suck at squash ...EZ PICKINS...yet again...ez pickings....so shep was hip on playing me....we played 8 games....bageled...i didnt get one game off this hack i never used to lose to....all too ez! hell sheppy had a doubles game not too long after...usually hed decline playing and rest for dubs...but not today...

i give orders for wifey to pick up 2 makers bots....and this is where i am presently....

oh yeah, before that...id given our worker fella the wrong fucking (fuck fuggin...im going deep from now on...fuck fuck fuck!) ceiling fans to replace...so this fuck took the wrong ones down...my fault of course....guess i wasnt quite listening well enough...wifey is cool about it cuz she knows i can go volcanic anytime now...

the shanks have almost cost me me marriage several times over our last 21 years....lately ive battled thru the bouts in timely fashion...i dont get them as oftn anymore....this bout is already gone...ive snapped clubs...ive snuck out to the driving range late night...wasnt supposed to go for i was banned.....but i had to figure it out...had to...

see golf is so important to me...its really the only thing i enjoy doing...i love golf equipment...clothes...courses...friends....hitting the shit out of the ball....when times are shitty and your golf is good...life is good...when things are great and your golf blows ass....life sucks shit...

when your bidness is bad and your golf is bad...then looooky owwwwwt! the big fat angry bear has been poked!

now my squash sucks too....i was getting pretty good...now i dont even belong with my once proud peer group....

so i am the spawn of schleppy...that unlucky fucker is like family to me...

wowsy wowsy woo woo....

ill snap back...maybe..

fini shit!

i love twisting words...i tell my kids to fini shit! i pause in between the syllables. its fun...try it....youre really not cussing....i love to cuss...i drop probably 100 f bombs a day...mostly when i talk to myself...

fuckcrying outloud....another good one! emphasis on the first syllable....of carse!

cussing is an art....if you cuss too much, you come off as being uneducated and quite obnoxious....i dont really like hearing the gals cuss....it kind of taints their reputations somewhat...nothing worse than hearing a very attractive female cuss like...well....me....peeps like that dont cuss, fart...or shit...in my mind...

wifey can rip out cuss words that would make a sailor wet his pants and cry and want to breast feed on his mommys boobs....when momzilla comes out, not only does she destroy all in her path...instead of fire...she belts out a cussing rant that has me running to the hills....scare the holy shit out of me!

cussing is a very religious event if you will....an encounter with the Almighty occurs rather frequently while cussing....

jesus H christ....what the hell is H sposed to mean vern? H is hell maybe..hell isnt a bad word so this doesnt belong..

jesus fuggen christ!

holy fuggen shit! or holy shit...holy shit is used so often...its greatness....it really says a bunch when you shout it...you win the lotto....what do you say first? great sex....what does one say? grand canyon...i bet that phrase has been used up at the canyon!

christ on a fuggen bike!...i just love that one...funny as hell!...our man JC riding a bicycle....omgkmitn!

funny as hell....wtf is fun bout satans fort o fire and brimstone? never got that one...

holy fugg!

god fugg! i say that when all hell breaks loose...thats like the end all baby! i believe that interjection occurs when i get a dose of the shanks....when that happens...even the holy man himself can fugg himself!

fuggen a...i might be in trubs after this one...GF!