sack up fella!

i hate it when some adults dont give you the real story....beat around the bush....it happens all the time in my line of work...probably yours too eh?

i have a tenant....a good tenant...a strong tenant....a tenant that is very important to my properties cash flow...i had a great relationship with the former regional manager...he left...the new guy is a d bag..if the old guy was still there, there is no doooot in my mind that they would stay....no question...i hate it when this happens...the new guy always fuggs everything up...

.he wont return calls...emails...calls...emails...ive left multiple detailed messages on how this fugger can reach me...

nada..

i know they are relocating...but this fuggen girlyman wont give me the common courtesy of telling me this....i want to hear it from this guys pie hole....tell me you stupid bastard..

problem is....this kinda fella doesnt want to come out with it....he is probably afraid that he will be hurting my feelings by telling me the fuggen truth...

a real man wants to know where he stands...a real man tells people where they stand on things...i get this shit all the time...and i cant understand why or how this happens...

i liken this to a child that covers their face with their hands, thinking that they are hiding from you....they cant see u, so u cant see them...

cfb, this really pisses me off...

high jump and the american deficit....

when i was 18...i maxed out at the high jump....yes fatass me...always had a big ass ass...was a high jumper...i had mad leaps...hops...back in the day....my max...6 ft 6 inches...i kid you not...id show up at the high jump pit and the jumpers would tell me where the shot put area was....no bro...im a jumper...hahahaha...well fugg off...and i leaped over the bar...horrible form...ass dragger...i couldnt help it...gravity babe...gravity.....but i did the job...4th in state...thank you very much...some dude jumped 7 feet...second was 6 10...then me and some other dude tied...at 6' 6"...i had a fault at a lower height...so he took 3rd...fuggen crap!

when the bar was raised to 6'7"...it was as tho the bar was 10' high....i couldnt get close to clearing any more than 6'6"...when i approached 6'7" id literally grab the bar with me right hand and toss it aside...kinda like mid air cheating...by tossing the bar away, i clearly would clear the bar...doesnt count...but that was the only way i could get over that height...

now comes our nations deficit....not just the fed government...but our households...our people...all classes... WE ALL JUST CANT HELP SPENDING MONEY WE DONT HAVE! no doubt we have over reached our limits....yet we continue to throw down the bar and clear our jump limit illegally...problem is, when a jumper has 3 faults...youre out....

the do over..the mulligan...the restarts...why isnt linsay lohan in jail? why arent there any wall street fat cat scheister crooks in jail?

fact is...we are never going to get over the bar that is set up for us...not the fed...they have fugged it all up for all of us.....mathematically, there is no chance in hell....

too bad i didnt see Ted this am....i couldve made his day with my crazy analogy....

have a nice day...

i kid you not...

wifey just called me and well....awnys replacement phone broke...evidently, the crystal just broke...he didnt drop it...no one hit him...just broke...like magic..after 1 hour of activation....it broke...

shoot me

4th cell phone

so ferf whacked awny with the vacuum pole and broke his celly....shattered awnys smart fone....hurray!!! another claim! that be number 4 in 30 days...

awnys on number 2...his first was swimming pool bound

ferf left his at the kc airport

syd dropped hers in her toilet....how the fugg does that happen?

so it cost 100 bucks every time we get a phone replaced...they send you a refurbished fone which means it was someone elses piece of shit before..perfect..

im not buying this one tho...each bubba has to pay me 50 bucks for this fone.....why u might be asking? well...im initiating the instigator rule ala the NHL....this fone broke due to provocation from the instigator..in this case...awny....see awny shoved ferf and ferf retaliated with a crack of the vacuum tube...i guess it was handy...weapon user ferf is...use your fist man..come on......if awny didnt shove him, then ferf wouldnt have cracked him one...

and so it goes....both are bummed...

top 5 biggest pains in the ass....getting a new cell phone...it takes forever to deactivate.....activate...make sure your fuggen contacts get transferred..im talking 100s of man hours dealing with some dot head in india...

and its all our faults....because we need to know where jr is all the fuggen time...screw that shit...i say toss the fones away...save your cash, and let jr walkabout wherever...more than half the time the fugger doesnt even have his phone... doesnt answer...or forgets to plug the fugger in...!

ive had it...again!

shit tenant

we have a shit tenant....literally...

this guys sewer backs up every 2 to 3 weeks...he uses 4 ply paper...and it doesnt dissolve....he has 3 toilets used by 25 to 30 of his people....

told him to use a less thick paper...dude refuses...we have rights to make him change...hes a dick...fuggen dork loser refuses...wtf...

he wrote us a letter informing us that we have poor plumbing and he is moving out....we have never ever had a problem with this building until this fella moved in with his army of shitbags..no other tenants back up...apparently, they dont wipe their ass with a fuggen beach towel like these assholes do...

it is crystal clear that he is the problem....this building has perfect plumbing as we have scoped it with a camera...

we showed him what his paper does when it sits in a glass of water for over 8 days....it doesnt dissolve....then we showed him what normal paper does...dissolves instantly...

i cant wait to try this fugger in court....what a shitty case he has....winnah!..

dat be goof!

one of me bidness fellas texted me..."sure sounds goof!"...he meant "good"....i immediately pounced on this...once again i will lead the way and begin calling good things "GOOF"

i texted him back..."dat be goof bro!" and "GOOF!" and "max GOOF!"

he is ignoring me, so im stealin it!

in about 2 months....ull be seeing this everywhere...this baby has legs...!

"DAT BE GOOF!" thats what the urban yutes will be sayin

"That is GOOF!" thats what waspy suburbanites will say...

"WHOA...goof bro!"....skaters

"Like goof"....rehtard 16 year old girls

"get yo goof on girl"...rapper

7am dentist appointment

bubbas dentist appointment sked for 7 am this am...since the recession, we have moved to out tenants dentist practice....makes sense...got to feed who feeds you right? plus our last dentist was a fuggen robber....and he wouldnt deal when i came to him with a more "market" proposal.....idiot....plus he smoked and had excessive nose hair....wtf...trim that!!! plus the dude always tried to hook up his dork son with me daughter...weird shit....just clean my teef and overbill me asshole!

guess who made the 7 am monday am appointment?...ill give u a hint.....IT WASNT ME!!!! so wifey tells me over the weekend that i have to get two 13 year old giant hibernating bears for a 30 minute trip...yes 30 minutes as she is our only dentist and she practices at our furthest away property.... to get their fuggen teef cleaned....drills...suction....flouride....kids love that shit right?

presently, im a fuggen zombie....ive powered thru 2 sbux coffees....strong tea...and all i have to show for it is droopy eyes and a sore asshole....i feel bad for the dentist office....by now HAZMAT is probably there in their yellow suits...eradicating the hazardous waste i left them....sorry!

august just started and it already sucks!!!!