the MAC...missouri athletic club....is a gem....its one of those old tyme clubs...built in the early 1900's...1907 i think....its one of those places that makes you feel like a man....you walk in and well...you want to drink whiskey, play cards, shoot pool, and hang out...every fella has a place like this to go to...
the 5th floor is super cool....it houses multiple kick ass locker rooms, the worlds best steam room where the steam is delivered directly from the cities underground steam loop...this steam room is huge and can easily hold an entire delta mu sigma chi sausage party...this steam room has MANUAL control...totally grandfathered in....you control the steam...and it fuggen comes out like a locomotive! ive walked in before and a couple of old farts were sitting in there...and the room was about 500 degrees...these old crazy bastards were just lappin it up....i had to leave after 15 seconds...my lips were boiled off their foundation....i looked like tom kite for a week! i digress...
the 5th floor also contains a 25 yard lap pool, the largest and greatest stainless steel whirlpool..a kickass weight room...a golf simulator...the mac store where you can buy all the sporting gear...a shoe shine place...and the gym....5th floor is base camp for all that is cool in the world of health, fitness....and general coolitivity....
back in the day, before the females rose up and wanted to be members of this once all male club (mid 1980s...some beotch ruined it for all)...the 5th floor was all naked all the time.....im talking swimming with full rudder...there were more balls and sacks on the 5th floor then you could imagine...on occasion, some of the old guard will forget that the naked rules are long gone.... and come out to the whirlpool while a gal is swimming laps....i say wtf...we were here first...! the showers are the ultimate. these showers put out the water with the greatest of pressure...all the pipes are exposed..all the pipes rattle..OLD SKEWL!
the 10th floor is just as kickass as the 5th....10th floor contains the legendary "sleep room," the card room, the billiard room, and the hotel rooms (actually there are 3 full floors of bedrooms)... the "sleep room" is just that...you go in sit in the lounger melt and sleep....always full of the old farts....sleeping and farting...
on the roof, there is the best paddle tennis court in the entire city and county of the LOU....
the mac downtown is where wifey and saundoggy held our wedding reception....the MISSOURI rm...i heard our wedding reception was awesome....i wouldnt know....i was too young and stupid and nervous and drunk to remember....
on occasion, youll hear one of the old farts talk about how the MAC was in its glory days...boxing matches, followed by drinks and cigars with hookers....the place had it all...now its like walking down main street at disney world...
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