my boys are 12...they are in 7th grade...i remember 7th grade vividly because thats when many...and i mean many...of my friends had bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs...simply put...its now PARTY time for the bubbas!
i remember three distinctive events during my childhood...when i was in kindergarten...or maybe first grade....i asked my mom...."mom, why arent i black?" i explained to her that i wanted to be the best football player/athlete in the world and i just wanted to be black...period...oj simpson, gayle sayers... who didnt ant to be gayle sayers after seeing brian song....? i most definitely didnt want to be brian piccolo. he was not near the stud that gayle sayers was! ...he was slow...white and not gayle sayers!...and OJ...the juice...he was awesome! ..i wanted to be black and was quite mad about not being so...damn it!
the second distinctive event.... or perhaps better put...feeling i had back in the day was the sheer desire of becoming a playboy photographer....and why not!? i was probably around 10 to 13 about that time in my career planning....my grandpa was a Playboy club member ...Oh the stories about him are greatness...soon i will elaborate...and i was privy to a plethora of "reading" material back in those days....i enjoyed the pictures...so why not be on the set of a shoot? ...daily...hours and hours a day...all the time! I didnt get my first wish (above) so #2 seemed obtainable....
the third was definitely when i was in 7th grade. i went to a junior high that had close to a 50% Jewish student body.... ill never forget my first bar mitzvah party i attended....fuggen a...it was awesome...the gifts! the money my friend received was gordon gecko esque..my mom picked me up and i told her i wanted to be Jewish!. Period! forget being black...forget playboy photographer...ill take Jewish!....this went on for the entire school year...bar mitzvahs....bat mitzvahs for the gals....the loot..the presents....my mom took my to casa gallardo for my 13th birthday...just her and i...dad was out of town...i got sick that night...blew chow for what seemed like days...gave up on Mexican food from that night until i discovered Tex Mex in Dallas...7 years later.....no huge party for the saundog....no cash..no loot....bud fox i was...a wannabe....sad...
so now my twins (the "bubbas" ...we combine them with that name...it completes them...it flows...and thats a pretty descriptive, flowing nickname for them) are in "bar" and "bat" heaven...season just kicked off...and this will be a tough ride for them...wifey and i are already hearing it...."we want that...we want this!"....the parties nowadays are way more extravagant than the "bars" and "bats" i attended...these things are like fuggen weddings on hgh..all roided up fun for 12 year olds....food stations...inflatables..renting out entire entertainment complexes...desert stations...kareoke...bands....its sick!...but fun for them....oy vey! no keeping up here...im outa me league....the bubbas 13 th bday bash will have a band playing the Price is Right failure horns...
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