Monday, August 30, 2010

steam room etiquette







is there a steam room etiquette....? a certain understanding as to how to act while in said steam room...? what is proper in the steam room...? and where to do certain things in the steamer as it pertains to ugly..and i mean ugly... nakedness?



theres a fellow...older fellow.... ok...hairy bastard ugly older fellow that i run into about 3 times a week in the steam room....this fellow must live there....he was there today...i grimace because i know whats about to take place...im all ready to go in...all wrapped up...covered...open the door hoping that hairy bastard ugly old fellow (HBUOF) isnt already inside... fugg! hes there! shit!!!!

picture star wars bar scene....freak show....

this guy is unreal....the reasons are as follows:


1. this guy is an ugly ass human....hairy...dont know if hes comin or goin hairy....cant tell..hes fuggen chewbacca


2. this guy doesnt cover up a thing...


3. this guy needs to cover up...i mean burqa like...because of reason #1


4. this guy does calisthenics in the steam room


5. this guy stretches every muscle in his body...


6. this guy stretches every muscle in his body while laying down facing you...




reason number 6 is so very damaging to my human spirit...i so want to enjoy life and be one with nature....but this fugger ruins it for me in every way shape and form...


HBUOF will literally...literally..be on his back...and do leg lifts..leg curls..sit ups...leg rotations....etc et al ...while everything is all being greatly affected by gravity and time...its so bad...


i just close my eyes and thats not enough....HBUOF will flap everything around....the steam room is a fuggen hummin with moisture....and well...this moisture just amplifies the flip flop flapping of HBUOF'es EVERYTHING!

i can hear people come in and i can hear people leaving....my eyes are shut....i can hear some people leaving muttering.."ive had enough of this shit!"


its HBUOFs steam room..he owns the fuggen place!

























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