golf rules pretty much suck....they were drawn up by a bunch of fuggen drunk fatasses...the game is hard enough as it is...
why the fugg do you need to add a stroke if your golf ball rolls a little after you address the ball? it makes zero sense..if your ball moves a little during your swing, and you hit it...stroke! wouldnt the moving ball make it harder to strike the shot you were looking for? isnt that penalty enough? your ball moves on the green...after you address it....stroke!...bullshit stupid ass crap...why? shit like this makes golf no fun...bunch of anal assholes...
golf rules really suck...
ok...your tee shot crosses the evil white stakes on the side of the hole...out of bounds...oscar delahoya...ob city...ob won kenobi...so the rules state that you must re tee and take a penalty...so youre hitting 3...golf is a long day anyway...i say fugg the ob rule and play it as a lateral...speeds up play...makes golf less aggravating...if you play a course that is surrounded by houses, youll love my rule..
all the other rules in golf are ok with me... i really dont like the "no grounding the club in a hazard" rule much, but i can live with it...
golf would be great if theyd change it up a bit...the saundoggy rules
1. no stroke and distance for OB
2. no stroke for oscillating balls
3. must finish in 4 hours max for 18 holes...if your group doesnt finish in 4 or less....you get kicked off the track...no questions asked...the asians are the worst....those little fuggers take their sweet ass time...the dbags that think they are freddy fuggen couples are worse...these fuggers read the green from every fuggen angle....they take 10 practice swings...then proceed to hit a shank OB...fugg them! nothing makes golf more fugged up than a 5 to 6 hour round...there is no way this should happen...
4. if you smoke..dont fuggen toss your butt on the track! if you chew or dip (me)...do not spit on the greens or the tee boxes....makes sense eh?
5. practice swings....i dont take any...i feel like my best swing will be my first...so i just go with that and it usually works....if you do take practice swings....you get a max of 2....if more, that is a penalty stroke! enough already...hit the fuggen ball mortimer!
6. cell phones...i have no problem with cell phones...as long as ringer is on vibrate...
7. golf dess....i like looking decent when i golf and everyone should too..i like to play with shirt untucked and i get kind of pissed when the pro tells me to tuck in me shirt. cargo pants should be allowed as well..
8. divots, ball marks, raking all these repairs must be done at all times..no excuses
9. reading greens...youre only able to read the green from behind your ball...thats it..no side reads...no front reads....just get behind your ball...look at it BRIEFLY...and putt the damn ball...and move on!
10. breakfast ball mandatory, if you chose... on hole one....and thats it...no other mullys..for amateurs only..we need to get our rounds off to a good start...
11. bump the ball only when course is in shit condition...if track is in fair condition...play it down...i find you make better contact when you play it down...anger gives you focus!
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