i was warned....

back in the day....when i was a pussy...now im a big pussy...i quit college footy...my coach warned me that i would never forget quitting football and it would haunt me forever...i told him to suck ass and go to hell...actually i was a pussy so i told him he was probably right and well...i just didnt like it so i left...plus they fugged with me so much...long story...long story short...i went in as a blue chip qb....i left as a lab experiment...

coach branch was right tho...quitting is a disease....ez to run away...i dont like confrontation....some peeps love that shit..

i started up squash once again...and well i still suck....im getting worse....im out of shape and punks that i used to waste are wasting me now....target rich environment...i might get some games now because word will get around that i suck...stat packers! crawling out of the woodwork...that wont last long as my temper and new portly form will scare the hell out of these stat packers....u want a win, youll have to deal with the angry bear....my smiles wont last long....

im angry...i know that im middle aged....i know i cannot be as active as i used to be....there are two distinct directions one like me can go....

1. keep on keepin it on....try and try and try while knowing you cant do what you used to be able to do....keep on truckin...work out...get sore and be angry

or

2. just realize that you suck and you are a pussy and just let go...get the beer belly (in my case the makers and chip n dip belly)...and play golf....be sore and be angry because ill get the shanks and want to kill people..

i need to make a decision soon.....

i have dreams still....dreams about college footy....one dream is so crazy....i have eligibility left and i get the call to suit up...its pathetic...as i cant even throw the damn ball...it goes no where...i keep picking i up and throwing it...only for the ball to just garo yepremian on me (garo was involved in probably the worst superbowl fail vr....fella was a kicker...snap was bad and garo attempted to throw it..the ball went straight up and sideways (shank throw) and right into the redskin defenders hands...td for the skins....)...over and over...i tell the coach i swear i can throw it...and i fail over and over and over again...

i always wonder what the dreams are like for the dock worker that quit his job....ring ring...hello...ya dude, i can still work the crane...ill be down there in 20.....the poor fella gets in the cab and cant work the crane...he drops his load over and over and over again...wakes up in a sweat...

quitting is a good for many things...smoking, drinking (on occasion), eating like a hog, biting your nails.... biting your toe nails....